Yup… you read the title correctly. I’m opting to use part of my break to write rather than attempt a distance record. See, the dogs were barking after last night’s walk. I thought it best to take an abbreviated walk rather than risk blister city and be knocked out of action for weeks until it fully healed.
So, tomorrow morning I have my first session with Ryan. I’m looking forward to it, but I’m also pretty intimidated. Here’s a guy who’s exceedingly fit, next to me, Captain Schlub. My biggest exercise is usually raising a fork full of food to my face. I’m looking forward to it because here’s a guy who can teach me how to get the most out of a workout. I’ve done the gym many times, and it never seemed to help. It was like I wasn’t getting anything out of it. Plus, I was always intimidated by the gym because of my bulk. Some of the looks you could get from other members were downright brutal. I got the impression that they were offended by the mere presence of a fatty among them.
This general feeling of not being welcome has become a constant. I’m not saying everybody is like that, but you can see the disgust that my weight causes in some. I said in an earlier post that it seems that fatties are the only group it’s still ok to discriminate against. Seems that the beautiful people are disgusted by what they perceive as unattractiveness. Found a good article at Jezebel.com about the anti-fat hate crimes that are taking place. Here’s a small excerpt:
People tend to have unconscious but powerful negative reactions to those they find unattractive. Weight specialist Dr. Ian Campbell: “It’s innate in people to dislike what they see as a lack of attractiveness. It makes them think such people are worthy of derision. Very young kids have been shown to have a bias against their overweight peers.”
It’s sad, really, and while this is one of the things that the bariatric program has taught me. It takes work, but you can lose the weight and be healthier. I know I can get there. I made it once from 410 pounds to 270. Now I’m going to learn how to finally make the life changes I need so as to not rebound. Whether or not I have an operation, there are medical options as well as surgical. Plus, I have support that I didn’t have before.
If I leave you with anything tonight, please don’t ever feel ashamed to ask for assistance. If you feel you have nowhere else to go, search for bariatric physicians or ask your regular doctor. There are so many folks willing to help you be healthy and if you’re willing to listen, they can help. This is something I’m finally learning. I’m not alone. You don’t have to be alone either.
… We have news for the beautiful people. There’s a lot more of us than there are of you. – Lewis Skolnick
Memoirs of a Soon-to-Be Former Fat Guy 