Memoirs of a Soon-to-Be Former Fat Guy

Hidee ho!

Today’s post took some thinking. What should I expound upon today? Should I discuss the price of tea in China? Probably not… not seeing the relevance. How about I discuss the changes in the Russian government in the 20 years since the fall of communism? No takers? Hmmm. Maybe I should discuss why I think that Roger Daltrey’s scream at the end of “Won’t Get Fooled Again” is better than Robert Plant’s scream in the beginning of “Immigrant Song”? That has possibilities. Hang on to that one.

Actually, I’m going to talk a little bit about one of the plusses of taking off some pounds. Being able to wear clothes you gave up on years ago. Or, as a dear friend of mine refers to it, “closet shopping.”

My first mental image after hearing that phrase was of that Tom Cruise South Park episode, “Daaad, Tom Cruise won’t come out of the closet…” After a little more thought, I realized it’s a great choice of words. It’s like going shopping for new clothes without having to pay. Not like I shop a lot, but expanding the wardrobe is never a bad thing. If you only own five shirts that fit, people will start taking bets on when you will wear each shirt. (“Dude! I got a finnski sez that Brian will wear the tan polo shirt with the white stripes on Thursday… any takers?”)  I’ve managed to closet shop three times since my journey began, most recently yesterday when I found my DCL polo shirt languishing in the back of the closet. It actually fit pretty well. Other closet refugees that have been worn were a very nice WDW polo and a pair of shorts I was going to yard sale.

As far as the title goes, I don’t really hate Mondays, although it was a little warm yesterday. I left the building at 9:50 last night to go for a walk and the air was chewy. I managed to do about half of what I normally do before I was at risk of liquefaction, at which time I called it a night and went in search of air conditioning. The heat is supposed to break temporarily today or tomorrow, which should mean much better walking conditions.

Other big events yesterday included the priming of the bar and my smallest-ever purchase at Home Depot. I decided to prime the bar with Killz before putting the gleaming final coats of Polar Bear on it, figuring that since the basement has the ability to be a little damp, this will fight any chances of mildew. As for the smallest-ever Home Depot purchase, I had to buy a white receptacle plate. Total damage, after tax, was $0.24. That’s me, the last of the big-time spenders.

Daltrey vs. Plant. At 7:50 of “Won’t Get Fooled Again”, Daltrey unleashes a throat-ripping wail that is so primal and unmodulated it’s scary. On “Immigrant Song” Plant’s scream is in tune, lacking the primal factor. Just my opinion. This is not a Zeppelin bash by any stretch, and I am perfectly willing to concede that Plant has the better voice otherwise. Just not in this instance.

Getting back to the true purpose of this post, though, the biggest obstacle that most people need to overcome is themselves. I used to complain non-stop about my job, how terrible it was, how much I hated it. A couple of weeks ago, I came to a conclusion that I was spending so much of myself on hating things that I had no room for anything else. Why hatred? I used to think that hating the reflection in the mirror would be motivation to change the reflection. That hatred just grows and festers and instead of just hating the reflection, you begin to hate yourself. There might be change, but it’s not at all positive. That’s NOT where you want to be. Once I made the effort to push the hatred out, it’s made such a difference in my life. I’ve realized that I have a good job that I don’t hate. I don’t love it every day, but I don’t hate it, either. Most importantly, I don’t hate me anymore. I’m just a guy trying to get himself in a better place, mentally and physically. How can I hate or fault myself for that? Instead of browbeating myself for eating something not good for me, I’m much better off accepting that I made a mistake and not doing it again. Ornette Coleman once said, “It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something.” Truer words have never been spoken.

Finally, I’ve gotten a lot of really positive feedback from people who have taken the time to check out the blog. Thank you so much for your compliments. It’s very gratifying to know that what you are doing is appreciated by others. This is not something I am accustomed to. When I started my little folly, my motivations were somewhat (read: very) selfish. I wanted a way to hold myself accountable to my stated goals. Has it worked? So far it seems to be. But to read comments from people who are inspired by my scribblings is just so humbling. I don’t have the answers, but if what I am doing is helping somebody choose to snack on veggies instead of potato chips, or to get their a** kicked by a Jillian Michaels workout DVD instead of not doing anything, well, I’ll shoulder that responsibility anytime. Gladly.

Today’s weight: 306.4 (down 13.6 from last Thursday)