Memoirs of a Soon-to-Be Former Fat Guy

Greetings from the land of the living!

Yes, I survived my second operation on my toe. This one was the big one… Dr. Flood “resected” part of my right “great” toe. In layman’s terms, he cut off the tip of my big toe to remove the infected bone. I don’t know why they call it the “great” toe… my take on that is if the toe was so great, it wouldn’t have landed me in the hospital.

This is going to take some getting used to. The doctor seems to think that my gait should not be adversely impacted, but it’s got to be different from what I was used to. It’s strange to look at… seeing your big toe shorter than your second toe. I can’t say what the surgical site itself looks like, as it won’t be unwrapped until tomorrow, but there’s a lot of tape and whatnot stuck on my foot. As part of the healing process, I need to keep my foot elevated and walk on my right heel. They are supposed to take the stitches out on the Tuesday after Christmas… then I should be able to do a little more.

All hail Stubby!

Next up on the medical front is the possible removal of my PICC line from my left arm. This will make me very happy in that I might be able to wash my left arm for the first time in a month. It will also mean that I might be able to sleep on my left side. That would make life much nicer.

I’m also learning a lot about diabetes management. This is not an easy thing to do. he diabetes staff at LGH recommend that my ideal blood glucose reading be between 70-130. I’m proud to say that my 14 day average is 101. As a pleasant side effect, the hair on my legs is starting to grow back. I might be a better challenger in the International Mr. Sexy Legs competition with some leg fur. Of course, when searching the web for diabetes information, I’ve come across some real gems, most of which feature legendary Quaker Oats and Liberty Medical pitchman Wilford Brimley. I’m going to share some of these gems with you:

It seems that old Wilford has a bit of internet celebrity. Whoda thunk?

One other thing about the forced confinement is the sheer amount of bad acting on daytime television. It can be summed up in two words. Susan Lucci. This woman is a hack of the first order. I haven’t seen this much scene chewing since the Xpress Ready Set Go infomercial. This woman makes Drake Hogestyn look like Laurence Olivier!

So, I’m headed to the main Chair of Doom to have some breakfast and get on with my busy day of doing not much. It’s nice to have The Management around for six straight days, so at least I have that going for me. Of course, I got her hooked on Angry Birds, so maybe that’s not a good thing.

I’m going to leave you with some appropriate lyrics from Greg Lake’s “I Believe in Father Christmas,” which is my favorite Christmas song:

I wish you a hopeful Christmas, I wish you a brave New Year. All anguish, pain and sadness, leave your heart and let your road be clear.

I’ll be back with you soon.

P.S. I don’t have much to report on the weight loss front, but last night it was 278.6. A little loss is still a loss.