So, it’s heading into summer yard sale season. I’ve been involved with yard sales and flea markets for years. Usually grudgingly. I took that attitude from my dad who used to claim that his role was strictly transport. Well, that and loading/unloading. And foraging for lunch as my mom would sell anything that wasn’t nailed down. Happy meal toys? Sell. Fresh cut flowers? Sell. First born male child? Keep, but I’m sure there were times she would wonder what she could get for me. Back in those days, I would be a buyer. I’d take my allowance money and wander around, one time returning with a crappy Kodak 110 camera, another time with a US Air Force T-shirt that was about 27 sizes too large for me. These were just a few of the “highlights” that I would bring back home. Inevitably, the aforementioned crap would wind up being sold the next time around.
Other than my buying excursions, I hated the flea market scene. I hated the collectors and dealers who would be poking through your stuff before you could even finish unpacking it. I remember vividly one time, some grizzled old goat muttering, “You have any tools?” and my dad looking him straight in the eye and saying, “You want tools? Go to Sears.” I think that the shamelessness of these people offended me even as a kid. I’m all in favor of making a good deal, but there should be an element of fairness. You know, if I’m selling a DVD that’s still in the shrink wrap and asking a buck, don’t try to get me down to a quarter. That’s just insulting. And, for the love of God, don’t be some damn cheap that you’ll try to shoplift.
Anyway, my attitude has softened as my years have advanced. I no longer see the yard sale as a fate worse than the death of a thousand cuts, but rather a chance to get somebody to take something I don’t want and would get rid of anyway, with the added bonus of a little extra scratch in the coffers. Plus, it saves me the trouble of having to dispose of stuff myself. If we can make $50 or so, tax-free, well, that’s worth a few hours dealing with the clientele. At least here in Cow Country. See, while we have the cheap bastards, we get a decent smattering of Amish and Mennonites. They buy and are usually very fair with their offers. Also, they don’t try to abscond with a 25 cent stuffed animal.
So, I’m off to cull through the wreckage that I call an office. The sale is in just over a week, followed by our remote sale in the bustling metropolis of Blandon, PA the weekend after Independence Day. I know I’ll be selling a corner computer desk and a nice kitchen prep/side table, not to mention whatever electronics I have to unload, some PC games, and clothing. If you’re in Cow Country on June 9, check out the neighborhood sale in Bradford Run, located two blocks from Farmdale Elementary School off of Prospect Road. Remember, in the words of The Management, everything has a price and everything is negotiable.
Happy shopping!
Memoirs of a Soon-to-Be Former Fat Guy 