Memoirs of a Soon-to-Be Former Fat Guy

I was so going to parody the Ballad of Jed Clampett, but the only words I could think of to rhyme with blister were Twister and mister, and, well, trust me when I say that nothing good would come of that.

So, I did manage to get to the podiatrist’s office this afternoon. He took one look at Wayne, pulled out the cutters and went to work. Several giant pieces of toenail and whatnot later, I’m down to eight toenails and  a lot of angry looking toe. The good news is that there’s no sign of infection and he thinks it should dry up pretty quickly. Once it’s scabbed over, then I can get out of the Boot of Shame. Out of sensitivity to the readers, I did not take pictures.

Also in the good news department, the wonderful exercise physiologists managed to switch up my workout this morning to include non-weight-bearing cardio and a lot of weight training. So it’s not a total loss. I can do the bike, the rowing machine and the hand cycle, as well as lift weights. Woohoo! Again, I just have to be careful to protect the area. On that note, I ordered the multipack of giant rolls of moleskin. I should probably take to just applying that every time I go to the gym, even after I’m healed. The best part is that you can get it from Amazon really inexpensively and it’s delivered right to the door.

Now, my biggest worry is what’s coming in terms of the winter storm. I’m not sure how the Boot of Shame will handle inclement weather. Maybe I just need to wrap my loot in a trash bag to get through the snow?

At any rate, I think I’ll call it quits for now. Hope you all have a great night!