Memoirs of a Soon-to-Be Former Fat Guy

Morning.

I’d say “Good morning”, but I’d be lying.

I got home from work last night and removed my shoes and socks, only to discover that I had a blister. A big blister. Right on the bottom of Stubby the Wonder Toe. A large piece of skin had sloughed off and, well, it wasn’t particularly pretty. I was tempted to post a picture, but Supportive Partner Woman (photo critic!) put the kibosh on that. You can thank her later.

GAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

This has my feelings of frustration and futility measuring off the charts. I’ve been doing this for months and no sign of a blister. I was even at the foot doctor yesterday and he didn’t see anything. The toe was fine when I took a shower yesterday, but somehow, while I was at work, I get a blister the approximate size of Los Angeles County and I didn’t even go for a walk. It’s enough to drive you to drink.

My first thought was, “What’s the point?” Why the hell am I doing all this work? I’ll just get another blister, and another, and another. I’ll never reach my goals. This was followed by a general thought of just bailing on our vacation and letting SPW go by herself. I’m sure if I tried that, she’d hurt me.

These feelings are followed immediately by that sense of loathing. Like Stubby is an actual person instead of a toe. I know I joke that my toe has adopted a gangsta personality, but in reality, it’s just a toe. But I hate this toe so much right now. I hate it more than I hate peanut butter. I DESPISE peanut butter. I even confess to wanting to go to the garage get a saw, and take the whole foot off. Then I can’t get any blisters on the toe, right? Yeah… I didn’t think that was an option.

So, what do I do? I emailed my trainer who is sadly off for a long weekend, and I guess the gym is right out for now. I’ll have to rock the Boot of Shame for a while and just have to keep my calories down if I want to make any progress. I see Rachel, the CRNP extraordinaire on Monday… maybe she’ll have some suggestions. I can’t let the blister stop me, though… I’ve come too far for that. Maybe this is nature’s way of telling me I was working too hard. When this heals up, and it will heal up, perhaps I just start using moleskin every day and padding the hell out of my toe. I don’t know. But I’m going to find out.

Hope you have a better day than mine has started out to be.