(WARNING: There is a photo of a surgical incision later in this post. It’s not the worst thing ever posted, but avert your gaze if you’re squeamish.)

The purpose of this is that so the incision picture doesn't gross people out. And, well, puppies!

The purpose of this is that so the incision picture doesn’t gross people out. And, well, puppies!

After last evening’s sobering post, I felt drained. It took a lot for me to just throw it out there. I’m not always the best at communicating how I really feel. I usually try to deflect things away from myself. It’s my way of dealing with things that make me uncomfortable.

I’ve been trying to change that behavior, because that just makes things worse. Avoidance is not always the best policy.

Anyway, I started taking a look at myself in a different light. Knowing that I really am an addict makes things a little different. I guess I’ve known that for some time, just never accepted it. Sort of like I’ve been a nerd for a long time and never really embraced that fact. The question is, how do I move forward?

Well, first off, I actually ate two servings of tomato soup today. No protein powder, just old fashioned Campbell’s tomato soup. It tasted awesome, and the best thing is that for the first time in three days, I took in more than 70-80 calories. Even though I wasn’t exactly hungry, I know I needed to eat and get something in me, otherwise the body would start to slow my already glacial metabolism. I also still have not seen an actual number on the home scale. This does not make me happy, but I’m still processing out fluids from surgery. It’s understandable, albeit frustrating. I can’t beat myself up over that anymore. Need to keep moving forward.

That’s always been a huge character flaw of mine. I don’t have a short memory. I tend to reminisce and analyze and wind up beating myself up for stupid stuff I did twenty years ago that I can do absolutely nothing about.


photo-3So, I’m posting a pic of one of my five incisions. As you can see, it’s healing pretty nicely. I’m told the surgical glue does a good job. It’s basically a non-toxic form of SuperGlue. According to information I saw, it sets in 30-45 seconds (faster than suturing) and leaves an equivalent amount of scarring. I have two incisions about this size that are glued, one that was sutured and now is closed by Steri-Strip. The other two incisions are small, virtually unnoticed. Once the hair grows back, all of them will be hard to find.

Upcoming on the medical front is a visit to the foot doctor tomorrow morning. Supportive Partner Woman (Foot care master!) has off, so she’s going to go to the appointment with me. I have to explain to Stubby that he’s once again not allowed to bust a cap in Dr. Miller for saying I have unattractive feet. That is the truth, whether or not Stubby wants to believe it.

Thursday is support group. I know some folks are really hoping I will make it. It’s on my to-do list, although I will probably be unable to sample whatever samples they cook up in the test kitchen.

Next Monday I can start eating something resembling real food. This make me happy. I have some of my mom’s homemade vegetable soup that I’m thinking of running through the blender to make edible for my pouch. Probably wouldn’t be smart to throw crackers in the blender with the soup, though.

Finally, next Wednesday is my follow-up with Dr. McPhee. I’m hoping to get cleared to go back to the gym at that point. I really miss it. I really REALLY miss it. I’ll also be placed on vitamins at that point. These will be things I will have to take for the rest of my life. One of the ways bariatric surgery works (at least a bypass) is through malabsorption. This means that I can no longer receive all the nutrients I need via eating or drinking. It’s a small price to pay for being healthier and sans medication.

In short, I’m feeling a lot better than I was last night. This could be in part to the fact that the mail finally moved, so to speak. But no need for details.

Hope you all have a good night!

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