Archive for the ‘Stubby the Wonder Toe’ Category

Reach for the Sun

Posted: January 8, 2011 in Stubby the Wonder Toe, The Jerz, Weight loss
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A rare evening post… there’s not a lot going on up here in The Jerz, so I thought I’d do something productive. Mainly, try to write an entry that’s somewhat coherent.

You’re probably wondering what the deal is with the title of today’s post. See, I’ve recently started watching Scrubs. I find that while it’s stupid sometimes, there’s a lot of truth there. Well, on today’s viewing, Season 3, Episode 19 “My Choosiest Choice of All” introduced me to a song I’d never heard before. It’s called Section 9 (Light & Day/Reach for the Sun) and it’s performed by a group called The Polyphonic Spree. I immediately shot over to iTunes and downloaded it and have been listening to it nonstop.

The lyrics are not terribly deep, showing here: 

Light
And day
Is more than you’ll say
Cause all
My Feelings
Are more
Than I can let by
Or not
It’s more than you’ve got
Just follow the day
Follow the day and reach for the SUN!
You don’t see me fly into the red – one more you’re done
Just follow the seasons and find the time
Reach for the bright side
You don’t see me fly into the red – one more you’re nuts
Just follow the day
Follow the day and reach for the SUN!

Like I said, not terribly deep, but it makes sense, and it applies to what I’m trying to accomplish with my life. Trying to get past all the medical issues that have plagued me in 2010, trying to be more positive about life in general. Trying not to regret the myriad mistakes I’ve made over the years. All the times I took the easy way out and resented people who got ahead and bettered themselves. It’s so easy to sit on the ivory tower and pass judgement on everyone else’s life while totally ignoring your own shortcomings. It’s also easy to forget that everything you do has consequences. I figured out long ago I could work my butt off and get good grades, or I could do as little as possible and make Bs and Cs. I took the easy way out and as a result, I never really learned how to study. When I got to college, it was more of the same. Add on to that the fact I was way too immature for college and it was a recipe for disaster. That could be the reason it took me 10 years to get through. The smartest thing I ever did was to take a few years off and get my head screwed on straighter.

I don’t want to chronicle all of my errors of life, but if you ignore mistakes you’ve made in your life, you’re setting yourself up for a repeat. As George Santayana said,

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

It’s a true sentiment. If I believed it years ago, who knows what would’ve happened? Maybe my wife and I would’ve taken better notice of each other twelve years prior to our first date when I sold her a camera. Maybe I wouldn’t have had to deal with getting a good hunk of my toe amputated if I had worried about my eating habits years before. Life is full of what-ifs, but it’s recognizing what got you to those moments that’s important.

The lesson to take away is that while we should never lose sight of where we are headed on our personal journey, we should always remember where we’ve been. Recognize the landmarks and maybe you’ll realize that you’re getting lost again before you get in too deep. Learn from the mistakes… we all make them. No one gets life exactly right on the first try. If it seems that the Almighty is dumping on you, it’s not personal. You’re just lost. Swallow that pride and ask for directions. Remember, life isn’t equipped with a GPS.

Going to leave you with the video for the aforementioned song. Hope you enjoy.

We’re off on the road to recovery…

Posted: January 2, 2011 in Stubby the Wonder Toe
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Good morning!

First of all, on behalf of the staff here at MOASTBFFG (well, me) I’d like to wish everyone a happy and prosperous 2011. I trust that we all had a safe fun celebration. Well, most of us, anyway.

See, Stubby and I were stuck in the Chair of Doom. I’m kind of ashamed to say that I didn’t even stay awake long enough to see them trot out Dick Clark. I feel bad for Dick… like maybe he should just be allowed to retire gracefully, but then again, maybe this is what keeps him going.

Anyways, I’m pleased to report that the sutures were taken out of Stubby on Tuesday and he looks considerably less, well, freakish. The doctors and visiting nurses have all commented on how well the healing is going. I’m encouraged. This has me thinking that I may be released from care next Tuesday when I see the two doctors. I’ll still have to take it easy for a while, but I should be able to drive and go back to work and maybe stop walking on my heel.

One thing that you take for granted when you are mobile is how much stuff can hurt with months of enforced inactivity. My toe is feeling great, but from having to sit around with my foot elevated all the time, my hip has been killing me, as well as my back. I’m not Mr. Exercise, but  I am normally doing stuff.

Another good sign on the road to recovery is that I’m able to do the steps a little more. For me, that meant I got to return to the Man Cave and play Xbox last night. The Management got me a copy of Halo: Reach for Christmas and it’s been awesome thus far. The graphics and game play are worthy of the Halo name.

That being said, I’m going to let you go. My New Year’s resolution is to continue on my path and hopefully reach my weight loss goals. I’m in the 275 pound range right now. Would love to be 270 by the end of January. I’ll keep you posted.

Thanks for reading. I’ll leave you with one of the funnier things I’ve seen in recent months.

The Misadventures of Stubby the Wonder Toe

Posted: December 19, 2010 in Stubby the Wonder Toe, The Toe of Wonders
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Greetings from the land of the living!

Yes, I survived my second operation on my toe. This one was the big one… Dr. Flood “resected” part of my right “great” toe. In layman’s terms, he cut off the tip of my big toe to remove the infected bone. I don’t know why they call it the “great” toe… my take on that is if the toe was so great, it wouldn’t have landed me in the hospital.

This is going to take some getting used to. The doctor seems to think that my gait should not be adversely impacted, but it’s got to be different from what I was used to. It’s strange to look at… seeing your big toe shorter than your second toe. I can’t say what the surgical site itself looks like, as it won’t be unwrapped until tomorrow, but there’s a lot of tape and whatnot stuck on my foot. As part of the healing process, I need to keep my foot elevated and walk on my right heel. They are supposed to take the stitches out on the Tuesday after Christmas… then I should be able to do a little more.

All hail Stubby!

Next up on the medical front is the possible removal of my PICC line from my left arm. This will make me very happy in that I might be able to wash my left arm for the first time in a month. It will also mean that I might be able to sleep on my left side. That would make life much nicer.

I’m also learning a lot about diabetes management. This is not an easy thing to do. he diabetes staff at LGH recommend that my ideal blood glucose reading be between 70-130. I’m proud to say that my 14 day average is 101. As a pleasant side effect, the hair on my legs is starting to grow back. I might be a better challenger in the International Mr. Sexy Legs competition with some leg fur. Of course, when searching the web for diabetes information, I’ve come across some real gems, most of which feature legendary Quaker Oats and Liberty Medical pitchman Wilford Brimley. I’m going to share some of these gems with you:

It seems that old Wilford has a bit of internet celebrity. Whoda thunk?

One other thing about the forced confinement is the sheer amount of bad acting on daytime television. It can be summed up in two words. Susan Lucci. This woman is a hack of the first order. I haven’t seen this much scene chewing since the Xpress Ready Set Go infomercial. This woman makes Drake Hogestyn look like Laurence Olivier!

So, I’m headed to the main Chair of Doom to have some breakfast and get on with my busy day of doing not much. It’s nice to have The Management around for six straight days, so at least I have that going for me. Of course, I got her hooked on Angry Birds, so maybe that’s not a good thing.

I’m going to leave you with some appropriate lyrics from Greg Lake’s “I Believe in Father Christmas,” which is my favorite Christmas song:

I wish you a hopeful Christmas, I wish you a brave New Year. All anguish, pain and sadness, leave your heart and let your road be clear.

I’ll be back with you soon.

P.S. I don’t have much to report on the weight loss front, but last night it was 278.6. A little loss is still a loss.

Missed opportunities and recovery

Posted: December 1, 2010 in family, Stubby the Wonder Toe, The Toe of Wonders, Weight loss
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Greetings!

I am typing this from the “comforts” of my own living room, where I’ve been recovering from the Magical Mystery Toe. This is not quite as good as it sounds. See, I have to keep the foot propped up and my ass is crazy numb from too much sitting. I’ve been home a week and a half, and not done much. I’ll be two weeks post surgery tomorrow with no complications.

Today is a sad day, though. Today we were supposed to be flying to Orlando to spend a week with many of our friends for Reunion. My toe situation kind of put the kibosh on that trip. We were both looking forward to this trip… there was a lot of good stuff planned, including a dessert party and private time at the Osborne Spectacle of Lights. Alas, my need for I.V. antibiotics made travel problematic at best. Also, I’m really not ready to do Disney in an ECV.

There’s a good side to the problem, and that is just how great everyone was to deal with. When we realized it wasn’t going to work, my first call was to Disney Vacation Club (our timeshare). When I talked to the lady there and explained my situation (hospitalization, surgery, etc.) she managed to get things fixed that our points went back to our regular account and not into a holding account. This is great news and it gives us the flexibility to reschedule at our convenience (when the Toe of Wonders is healed up). After that, I called the airline. I have had issues with airlines in the past, so I was expecting to lose the money. With great trepidation, I called AirTran’s customer service line. I was connected to Frances and I related my story. Frances cancelled our flight without a cancellation fee and now we have the entire airfare as a credit in our account with them. AirTran could not have been more helpful and they were a pleasure to deal with. I will be sad when they are taken over by Southwest.

The other major stumbling block would conceivably be Micky’s Very Merry Christmas Party, a special hard ticket event at the Magic Kingdom. I called Disney about these tickets when I returned home and they were able to refund our money for the tickets. All told, we’re out about $5 in PayPal fees. Not too bad when you consider how bad it could have been.

So, moving right along, I’m making progress getting my blood glucose under control. The doctors put me on insulin, which kind of sucks, but it has not caused the suicidal feelings that Byetta caused. Speaking of Byetta, it seems that it is made from the saliva of the Gila monster. Apparently, it works for some people. Not me, though. So, I have to stick myself four times a day. It’s doing wonders, though. The downside is having a couple of bouts of hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). The shakes and cold sweats are not a good thing, but once that curve is mastered and the blood sugars even out, it will be worth it. No one is saying anything in particular, but in the future, I might be able to control things with one injection a day, or maybe by diet alone.

Speaking of diets, mine is going well. I’ve gotten to about 1,800 calories a day and even though I can’t exercise, I’ve still lost 11 pounds since the day I was admitted to the hospital. This puts my total weight loss since I started the blog at 46.8 pounds. Just to think I almost lost 50 pounds in six months. This really makes me happy. When I get to 250, I’m treating myself to something I’ve always wanted to do… take a Segway tour at Disney World.

I’ll be back with another entry this week.

Current weight: 283.2

Why being in the hospital sucks

Posted: November 18, 2010 in Stubby the Wonder Toe, The Toe of Wonders, Weight loss
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Greetings from Stalag 8012!

Perhaps that is a little strong. See, I’m stuck in Lancaster General Hospital due to the attack of the Amazing Technicolor Toe. Many faithful readers can recall the epic tale of Lord GOMF, the Earl of Bunion. That particular blister was thought vanquished. Well turns out he’s back and seriously pissed off.

See, a couple of weeks ago I got a blister. Fairly innocuous, so I lanced it and slathered it with bacitracin. The usual treatment for a blister that I’ve employed countless times before. This time, well, there was a sinister interloper…. streptococci. I didn’t know this, but apparently you can get strep toe. I’m living proof.

I continued treating myself and the toe just didn’t get any better. A couple of days ago, I noticed it was becoming colorful and getting a tad swollen. Before I knew it, it was roughly the size of Donald Trump’s ego and I was running a 102.2 fever. That’s pretty steep for anyone, but since I normally run a 96.8, it scared me. I took some Advil and the fever subsided, but I knew I needed some help. Before I did that, though, I had the Alzheimer’s Memory Walk on Sunday. Three miles at Citizen’s Bank Park. I finished that with no major issues.

So Monday, I got the Management to take me to Urgent Care who sent me to the ER. At the ER, the Magical Mystery Toe was unveiled and promptly became a must-see stop. They admitted me and started the IV antibiotics. I’m pretty sure that by this point they’ve pumped me so full of antibiotics that you could drop me into a giant Petrie dish full of anthrax and I’d be ok.

So, after x rays, MRI, ultrasound and God knows what else, I’m on the cusp of my first general anesthesia. This has me freaked out like nobody’s business. I’m so skittish right now I’m like a hyperkinetic poodle on crystal meth. I’m hoping I’ll be able to continue the post when I’m out of surgery and the Amazing Technicolor Toe is less… colorful.

Thanks for all the support and well wishes. I’m going to be ok. I hope. It might curtail my participation in the next International Mr. Sexy Legs competition, but then again, the people who saw the last one might say that might not be a bad thing.

See you on the other side.

Most recent weight: 291.4

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