Memoirs of a Soon-to-Be Former Fat Guy

Some days you’re up, some days you’re down.

Today is one of those down days. I’m feeling so discouraged by the whole process. I miss a regular life. I’m bored, but what I really want to do (work out) I can’t do because of my stupid foot.

Sigh.

I knew going in that I would have days like these. I went to the fitness center, did my non weight bearing cardio and lifted weights. I was thirsty, so I took a drink of water from the cooler. That’s when the newest wrinkle appeared. Apparently, being heated up from exercise and cold water no longer mix. They equal barfs. I know it’s the temperature, but my first thought was, “Water? Seriously? WTF am I supposed to do now?”

I guess I’ll just keep plugging away. It’s what I do.

I’m doubting the process. Yes, it’s great that I crossed the 50 pound barrier, but I miss a normal life. I realize that’s my whiny inner child speaking… if I had lived a normal life before, I wouldn’t have been fat enough to have to undergo the operation. I made tuna salad last night for dinner. All I could have was just tuna salad. No crackers or anything. It’s kind of nasty, just salad, but it’s how the cookie crumbles. I’m actually afraid to try new stuff because I’m afraid I’ll just spit it right back up.

I guess impatience is a curse of mine. I want my foot to be healed so I can work out. I want the weight to come off, and I want to get back to eating a more balanced diet.

In the meantime, I just need to suck it up.

Sometimes, that’s all you can do.

Day 15 is in the books. Not a particularly great workout… the ankle was kind of stiff, so I took it easy (2.7 mph, 2% incline) rather than do the usual random setting. As Ryan once told me, “Anything is better than nothing.” Plus, I think the cold rain and general dampness really had me aching. I can only hope that when there is less weight on the joints, the aches and pains should ease accordingly.

I opted to wear my Merrell hiking shoes for the day. The offer a little more support in the ankle and heel than do the cross-trainers and thought maybe my feet could use a break. Just need to remember to take them off when I go for weigh in later today. They do weigh more than my sneakers and every little bit helps. I’m actually freaked out about my appointment today. I know I’ve been doing a pretty good job staying active, but I’ve had little success with the scale. Plus, I haven’t been the best and not grazing. I’ve just tried to keep my grazing to healthier stuff. We shall see. I’m just not going to let a poor weigh in ruin all that I have done. I know I’m on the right path… I just have to keep on said path.

Lunch today was a cup of jambalaya and some Greek yogurt. I’m not a huge fan of the Greek yogurt, but I’ve found if you stir the hell out of it, it makes it that much more palatable. I also opted for a protein shake for a snack. Breakfast was a shake and a banana.

So, enough about the impending office visit of doom. Let’s talk about what I saw last night. I had to go to the grocery store… some coupons were expiring. While I was in the checkout line, I noticed a “tween” girl in another line who was totally rocking a 1989 vintage Debbie Gibson Electric Youth-era hat. Just the fact that I used the word “vintage” in conjunction with “Debbie Gibson” made me feel very old. It was just kind of funny, though, as I remember when that hat was popular.

Yikes.

OK… we’re back. Turns out I forgot to save this down in a .doc format and Pages can’t read a .docx extension. Sigh.

So, I’ll just combine posts and you get two for one. It’s a BOGO post! Woot!

So, the bad news. I managed to gain four pounds. It could’ve been a lot worse, though. I had several days of not particularly healthy eating. It wasn’t so much the what, it was the quantity. One of my biggest problems is that I’ll eat mindlessly without considering just how much of something I’m eating. Before I know it, I’ve eaten an entire bag of chips or pretzels. It’s not particularly a good thing. So, my next appointment is February 11. Shauna informed me that it’s go time, though. If I don’t manage to drop another 10 pounds, then no surgery for me at this time. That’s one way to make sure I get in compliance.

One other positive change I am making is that I started journaling my intake and exercise again. I had really dropped off on it, but maybe if I really pay attention to it, I’ll get a better feel for just what and how much I am eating. Wish me luck.

Also, I did another day at the gym. For those keeping score at home, that makes it 16 straight days. Did time on the arc trainer to save my dodgy left ankle. I got 30 minutes in, good sugar results… no complaints. So, tomorrow will be Day 17… and I have no idea of how many days I’ll be able to keep it going, but I really like starting my day with a workout. Gives me the energy to get through the day. I’ll need it in the coming months. We’re going into a busy season at work where mandatory overtime is the phrase of the day, so I’ll need it.

Well folks… thanks for reading. I appreciate all your page views and I thank you for your support.

Yup. That’s how many days I’ve hit the gym. So far, so good for the Un-Resolution.

Today was basically a cardio day. I went and hit the treadmill for 35 minutes, doing my last five minutes at 3.5 mph. I know, it doesn’t sound like much, but for me, it’s a big step. My ankles are aching, but this too shall pass. I can’t stop gushing about the moisture wicking socks. They’ve really done a good job at keeping Stubby and Wayne blister-free. The socks I’ve been wearing are PowerSox Power Lites. Found them at a Dick’s Sporting Goods in Davenport, FL (don’t ask) after some good luck with Nike Dri-Fits that were too tight. Went looking for ankle socks, found these, and haven’t looked back.

So, today, Supportive Partner Woman (lover of musical theater!) and I are headed to State College, PA, where she and a friend will be going to see Les Miserables. I think I’ll be passing on that one. Maybe I’ll take in The Hobbit or Skyfall instead. We shall see.

Tomorrow, I’m going to hit the gym  and do some weights in addition to cardio, then the day is open. SPW did mention perhaps a visit to the Lego Store. Always a fun time doing that, so I have hopes.

Speaking of Lego, here’s some creative use of minifigs:

Anyway, I hope you all have a happy weekend!

Let me start off by saying that 32 years ago, we lost one of the most influential musicians of our time. Rest in peace, John Lennon.

So, I’m back from a wonderful visit to the World. It was great to see people I haven’t seen in months or years, and it was great to be amongst some of the very best friends a person can have. Once again, the folks at Mouse Fan Travel and WDW Today outdid themselves in making magic and memories.

I would be remiss, though, to not mention Deb, Linda, and the rest of the AllEars team for throwing a fabulous IllumiNations dessert party. I was so pleased to find there were fresh fruit options available, as well as a nice cheese selection. It made the night that much more magical.

One of the things people consistently ask me is why we keep going back to Disney. Or I’m criticized because we go there as opposed to Las Vegas or some other more “adult” venue. I often wonder why folks feel they have the right or just the sheer chutzpah to question our vacation choice. I usually give a non answer, something along the lines of the weather, or the food, or asking why said person goes to the same beach year after year. It’s all of those, but there’s a lot more to it. It boils down to two major points. We go for the magic and for our friends.

I realize we’re in the minority… we don’t have children, so why would we willingly go to a place that is filled to overflowing with burbling Mouseketeers? I could talk for days on the way the Walt Disney Company has ruined the experience… ranging from the dumbing down of the attractions, attractions are starting to look run down, the food prices, the naked cash grab that is Duffy the Disney Bear, the need to force certain characters down your throat, changing nearly every nice place to eat into a “Character Dining Experience” just so they can charge more, or worse, letting the princesses invade the castle at every meal, the elimination of park and resort specific merchandise, and the proliferation of cheap light-up shit at every nighttime show, just to extort more cash out of weary parents. I could go on and on, and you’d say, “Brian, if you hate it so much, why do you keep going?”

I keep going because in the midst of all the chaos, there’s still magic to be found. Maybe it’s the ties to my childhood and being totally fascinated with the way the air rifles worked on Tom Sawyer Island. Maybe it’s remembering being under the Magic Kingdom as a teenager, preparing to play in Fantasyland with the school jazz band. Maybe it’s just seeing a child who gets what the magic is all about and isn’t whining about wanting every souvenir under the sun. Maybe it’s seeing that same child’s eyes light up when he/she sees Mickey Mouse for the first time. Maybe it’s getting that top row middle seat on Soarin and losing yourself in the majesty of the music and visuals. Maybe it’s all of the above.

The best time of year to find magic is in the holiday season. The Magic Kingdom offers the Very Merry Christmas Party, EPCOT offers Holidays Around the World and the Candlelight Processional and the Studios offers the Osborne Spectacle of Dancing Lights:

Normally, the lights are like a big sardine can. Thanks to Beci and her crew at Mouse Fan Travel, we were able to enjoy the lights with a rather small crowd. It makes it so easy to take photos and video and to just walk around seeing the sights and enjoying the snow (yes, snow) falling.

With some of our very best friends, including the guy on FaceTime.

The other draw I mentioned is our friends that we have met through the community. A finer group of people you will not find, and that alone makes we want to return. Where else would you find a group of (allegedly) sane adults crammed into a booth at Beaches and Cream, laughing like crazy as we chat via FaceTime with a friend who couldn’t make the trip? Later the same night I was able to FaceTime the fireworks to the same friend. It’s the wonder of technology, yo.

Speaking of the fireworks, what makes them special is the five minute holiday tag. It’s an amazing amount of pyrotechnics thrown in the air to the accompaniment of the Boys Choir of Harlem singing “Let There Be Peace of Earth”

So, anyway, we had a great time and I’m back in the saddle. I even had my tubby ass at the gym at 8 AM for 45 minutes of cardio. I think I wound up losing a couple of pounds since I was able to walk a lot without a blister (bless you, moisture-wicking socks). I have a dietician appointment on Wednesday, and hopefully I’ll be getting a surgery date soon. I know it won’t be easy, and this is a change for the rest of my life, but it’s what I need to do. I’ve screwed around way too long and abused my body for way too long. It’s time I get on the road and stay on the road.

Have a great weekend, folks!