Yeah… now it sets in.

I got the call this morning that my arrivale time at the hospital will be 8:50 AM. That means the procedure will probably go down around 11:00. Basically, I have less than 24 hours until my life changes forever.

That’s not entirely true… my life has changed already. I’ve made the adjustments to my eating and lifestyle. I’ve had my psychological session. I sat through classes on diet, learned the correct way to exercise and learned a lot more about the way the body functions (or malfunctions in my case). I also learned just how many people are rooting for me.

That last was the biggest lesson.

I never saw many people as being good friends. Sure, I had acquaintances, but I always saw my fat as an obstacle to true friends. I just assumed that people were talking about me behind my (broad) back. It wasn’t until I got involved in the Disney community that I started feeling accepted. I say “started” because I still harbored some serious doubts about my own self-worth. I think I will always struggle with that, but I can deal a lot better than I used to.

Dealing with life as a more normal sized person will be a big change. I’m going to have to put myself out there again. I’ll need to learn to not assume I’m too fat to do something and try it again. It will be nice to no longer have to request a table in a restaurant because I’m too fat for a booth. Even fitting in the break room seats at work won’t be a challenge. It will be even nicer to not forego a ride that I previously passed on due to fat.

Even buying clothes won’t be as much of a hassle. No longer needing to shop at Thornton Melon’s Tall and Fat will be a nice change of pace.

The biggest positive change I see is the elimination of the insulin. I think insulin makes you fatter… I don’t necessarily have any scientific proof to this, but it seems that I can do more exercise that I did three years ago and lose a lot less weight. In 2010, I could lose five pounds a week, now I struggle to do that in a month. Main difference? Insulin.

I know I’ve thanked everyone for their support, but there are some that really deserve some credit that I never thanked before. They would be the coworker who would talk shit about my weight and think I didn’t hear him. The comments about me not going to the beach because people would try to put me back in the water, well, they hurt at first. Then they really pissed me off the more I thought about it. It inspired me to take steps to improve my health. So, I’d like to give out a big thank you to him. The real irony is that the individual in question isn’t exactly what you would call svelte.

Anyway. That’s some people for you. Luckily, not everyone is like that.

I might write another post tonight, or at least tomorrow morning. I’ll keep you posted throughout the process.

  1. Stephanie M says:

    Take care Brian. I’ll be thinking of you and holding you close to my heart that the surgery is all you are wishing for. Give Laura a hug from me and maybe one day we’ll do the movies again. Faith, hope and pixie dust.


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