Archive for the ‘Weight loss’ Category

Greetings!

First of all, apologies for not posting anything these last couple of days. I wound up being busy trying to write a piece for another blog I write for and, well, time just got away.

Had a very nice weekend… I didn’t have to work, which is always a nice thing. I spent yesterday with Supportive Partner Woman. We did a Wegman’s run (surprise!) and went out for dinner (and lunch, sorry to say). I was really jonesing for a burger, so we grabbed lunch at Red Robin. I haven’t had fries in I have no idea how long, and they were VERY good. I ordered a bacon cheeseburger on ciabatta =bread, hold the mayo. Burger arrived and was done perfectly. I didn’t even feel too much guilt. It didn’t totally bork my sugars, either.

After that, we detoured through Best Buy, gaped at a lot of stuff we didn’t buy, and headed to Wegman’s (insert choir of angels!).

Got a cart full of groceries, found some lovely sirloin cubes for making kebabs next weekend, and took advantage of some coupons. For anyone who cares, the truffles were down to $499.00/lb. Must be a down market in fungus.

We headed home with a stop at our favorite local store, Stauffer’s of Kissel Hill. It’s a nice market, decent selection of produce and a bangin’ deli. It’s almost like a mini-Wegman’s, minus the choir of angels. The real secret to the deli, however, is the people. If you go, be sure and ask for Shirley. She’s spot on with her measurements, very friendly and always makes sure you get the best service.

Headed home, put the stuff away, and chilled out. I priced a new surround sound amp (didn’t buy) and we eventually decided to go grab some dinner. Keeping with both the red theme and the coupon theme, we went to Red Lobster. Now, the “Eat This, Not That” book series says this is one of the healthiest sit down chains in America, and I can believe it if you order right. SPW (eater of seafood!) ordered snow crab legs with a baked potato. I went with the wood-grilled scallops, shrimp and chicken with a side of broccoli. Nutrition-wise, not too bad. 590 calories, 14g fat, but the killer is the sodium… 3060 grams. Yikes! Now I’ll remember that and order the crab legs next time… half the salt and less than half the calories.

We added some new (to us) tech to the arsenal this week, too. Our friend Trevor purchased a new retina-display MacBook Pro and sold us his used one. This makes SPW (Apple fangirl!) very happy and, well, I’m always in favor of tech. Looking forward to seeing what it can do. So far, like it a lot. Going to have to provide bunches of home cooking to make sure our tech support is well-fed.

So, the moral is that it’s possible to have a burger and fries (at least until surgery) and not totally nuke the calorie limits. Now today’s dinner will be surf & turf… have some lovely steaks and some scallops that we scored at Wegman’s (on sale) that are big as SPW’s fist (or so it seems). Not quite sure what I’ll be making with them, but that’s OK. I figure I’ll grill the steak and maybe grill the scallops? I don’t know. I’ll think of something.

Hope it won’t be three days until the next post… but I hope you had a great weekend and I’ll see you real soon!

I just reread what I posted earlier and I was struck by how down it seemed. It wasn’t meant to be bitter… I don’t actually know what I was trying to get across, other than it’s NOT futile. It’s a struggle, but most things are.

All in all, not a bad day

So, I went to the gym this morning/afternoon. I wanted to top my previous time best on the treadmill. I started out at around 2.7 miles per hour… faster than my usual walk. Upped it to 2.9 about 7 minutes in, then upped it again to 3.2. It was a good workout… I managed to make it 46 minutes… I’m catching up to my friend Glenn. He’s really been an inspiration to get in some treadmill work. It hurts… I won’t lie, but the pain fades and my ankles will feel better. In fact, the more weight I lose, the better it’s going to be on my joints. I’ve noticed vast improvements in my cardiovascular health… I can walk at a brisk clip, kind of uphill for over two miles and only get to a 120 heartbeat? Wow… whoda thunk?

My biggest gym beefs allude to some people who Supportive Partner Woman (certifiable gym rat-to-be!) has mentioned in the past. Those she refers to as American Stick Insects. These would be the ulta-fit women who show up and make the StairMaster their figurative bitch clad only in spandex shorts, a sports bra and half gloves. I don’t mind that somebody’s fit… I wish I was at the point I could tame the evil beast that is the StairMaster, but what I do mind is that after sweating like the Nototious B.I.G. after he ate a gallon of hot sauce, said Stick Insect did not wipe down the machine, then went to the elliptical and proceeded to pull the same bush league act.

The other people I have issues with are the late 40’s early 50’s midlife crisis guys who walk around like frat boys and act like frat boys, too. SPW (observer of people acting like chumps!) reported seeing the biggest douchenozzle of them all of them go walking out of the gym doing the George Jefferson walk while wearing wraparound shades and his garish yellow shirt. He was probably heading out to his midlife crisis car.

These guys just spend the entire time they are there just trying to show off… it’s kind of, well, immature. Usually I want to gripe about these kids today, but with the exception of some chatty teenage girls who like to text on the elliptical, most of them show up, are serious about the workout, and don’t clown around too much.

Anyways, it’s off to another exciting night at the office. Once again, I apologize for the tone of the earlier post. Anything that makes me healthier is not futile. I know I’m going to have down days, but just have to move on.

Ever sit down and wonder, “What’s the point?”

Have you ever been just struck by a feeling that what you are trying to do is totally pointless?

Have you ever been so discouraged for no apparent reason that you start to doubt your own state of mind?

I’ve been there the last few days. I’ve gone through the motions at the gym, worked up a sweat, but have been totally second guessing my reasons for embarking on this journey in the first place. It makes no logical sense whatsoever for me to be feeling this way, but I still do.

See, this is danger time for me. This is the time when I start to snack when I shouldn’t. I’ll start skipping days at the gym. I’ll be “too busy” or some other bullshit excuse. Even if I don’t have a good reason, I’ll take a bad reason and make it sound good, the entire time trying to justify it to myself.

Why the hell does this always happen? I kid you not… if I could just learn to listen to the sheer bullshit I was spewing at times like this, well, I probably wouldn’t be so damn fat.

I guess you could say that my biggest (no pun intended) enemy is myself. It’s not the weight, it’s my mind. How do you battle something that knows everything about you?

Logically, I know I’ve made strides. I’m getting encouragement (thanks, folks!) and not just from the folks I see on a daily basis. Still, the biggest inner voice is the one screaming, “You suck! You’re such a loser! You’ll never amount to anything but a big, fat pig!” and as much as I try to silence that, it screams all the louder. The more I ignore it, the more it keeps eating away at my willpower until eventually, I cave. I always have.

Maybe it’s time to just stop listening to that inner voice, or better yet, bitch slap it into submission. Granted, I have NO idea how to do that, but if this is going to work, I need to figure it out pretty quickly. Maybe I should just write it a memo. I don’t know.

One day at a time, I suppose. This way, if I have a bad day today, I can have a better day tomorrow. Maybe it’s not totally futile.

Good morning!

First of all, an update on the Southwest saga. I spoke with someone in their customer relations department and they were very helpful and listened to what I had to say. There was no talk of compensation, I wasn’t looking for money, just an explanation. The woman I spoke to, Lauren, was very candid and described that they had the entire IT team in trying to nail down the issue and to make sure it didn’t happen again. I’m proud of myself for not letting Captain Furious out… the lady was just doing her job and it wasn’t her fault that things got jacked up. Anyway, to make a potentially long story shorter, I received an email later in the day yesterday apologizing for the screw up and that they would be sending me a travel voucher in hopes that I would consider flying with them again. Voucher arrived today and I’m looking at the return leg from Reunion in December.

So, on to more serious business.

SPW (Wearer of very blue Nikes!) and I went to Hempfield Rec yesterday and I got on the treadmill. Instead of setting a time, I just started walking, figured I would go as long as I felt like it. Not counting the warm up and cool down cycles, I kept the speed between 2.7 and 3.2 mph (a good, brisk walk) and stopped around 42 minutes, just because I knew I had to get home, shower up and go to work. This means I’m over half way to my 70 minute goal. I actually felt pretty good afterward… legs and feet weren’t barking too much and what really has shown up is that my heart rate averaged 114. When I first got started on this program, the heart rate would register well over 130 for ten minutes. I’d say that’s a nice improvement in my cardiovascular health.

The downside has been that while it hasn’t been a bad food stretch for me, it’s not been a great one. There’s been some bread being consumed… probably not the best thing for me. I need to refocus on that part of things. See, I had made one of those Pillsbury French loaves for the dinner I had on Saturday, and there were a few leftover pieces. I didn’t want them to go to waste and, well, that stuff is like legal crack, so I eated them.Speaking of mom dinner, both she and my sister enjoyed the food. I got a really lovely piece of sockeye (on sale… boo-yah!) and corn from the Corn Wagon, and threw together a simple, yet healthy dinner that turned out to be really tasty. I even put out shrimp for an appetizer. Of course, there are leftovers, including a giant bowl of salad, so I’m set for dinners this week. Sunday, SPW (Apple tech junkie!) and I went out for dinner. We were in the Downingtown area and found a new location for PJ Whelihan’s Pub. We’ve been to other Whelihan’s locations over the years and I was really in the mood for a burger. I was proud of myself… I ordered the chili as an appetizer and then had a bison burger. Bison is a better choice than standard beef… lower in fat and almost twice the protein. Whatever the nutritional impact, it was pretty dang tasty.

Headed to a rare afternoon session with Ryan today. It’s the only time he had an opening for, so I will have to take some clothes and shower up there in order to make it to work close to on time. I’m going to refocus on kicking my own arse. I let it slide in the food department for a couple of days and it’s not going to slide any more. It can’t.

I’ll keep you posted.

And, no, it’s not wet. Sorry, folks.

It’s been an interesting couple of days here at MOASTBFFG. A few weeks ago, I wrote about how SPW (possessor of lots of clothes!) and I were cleaning out our closets. I had mentioned finding a stack of t-shirts that I hoped to be able to wear again soon. Soon has arrived. I’ve actually busted out a few more since the Alzheimer’s Walk shirt… one that proudly proclaimed that “REAL MEN WEAR KILTS” and a vintage 2009 Scopa Towers tee. The best was this morning, when I thought I’d wear something new to the gym and found a MouseFest 2008 shirt.

They call me… Tim?

The Binge

This has been the single biggest highlight, other than feeling better. Being able to put on stuff and it’s not too tight. I might not always see it on a scale, but the clothes don’t lie. In fact, for general wear today, I actually fit in a Woot! shirt. That’s worth a… woot? It’s a Monty Python tee, as many of my purchases tend to be. This featuring Tim the Enchanter. I have another that has swallows and coconuts and SPW and I share one with the Knights of Ni. Others that I am looking forward to breaking out would be The Binge, featuring the Cookie Monster. I have a soft spot for goofy t-shirts and I’m really looking forward to wearing much of my collection again.

So, for the first time in years, I made it to the gym for five straight days. Plenty of cardio and lifting, and I felt so good after today’s session, I’m thinking of heading over tomorrow morning for some more cardio. I’ll take Sunday off… since SPW (proud attendee of BlogHer 12!) will be coming home, maybe we’ll journey to the Lego Store and Wegman’s… see what’s going on. I know this will be a great opportunity for her to network and see our friend April, but I still miss her terribly.

Well, I think that might wrap it up for today. I hope to continue to fit in stuff and keep up the good gym habits. I’m not going to lie… it’s a struggle to get there most mornings, and the first ten minutes of cardio is an absolute beast, but if I get through that, it gets a lot easier. I have a new goal to strive for, though… my friend and fellow weight warrior Glenn has recently managed to crank out 70 straight minutes on the treadmill. My personal best is 35 straight. I’m going to strive to get to that 70 minute mark. Maybe not next week, but next month? I’m feeling that anything is possible… if I can get my chubby self into a shirt I never thought I’d wear again, well, I can do more. I have to do more.

I was feeling kind of down the other day… I wasn’t quite sure why this was until this evening. The date finally dawned on me. July 30. See, July 30 marked seven years since my grandmother passed.

My grandmother and I at my college graduation – December 1999

See, I only ever knew one grandmother. My paternal grandmother passed away many years before I was born, but my maternal grandmother, well, she was a constant in my life. Every up, down and sideways, I could always count on my grammy to be there. She helped all of us through the loss of my dad, and was there when SPW and I got married. There’s a low and a high for you. She was there for every birthday, graduation, confirmation, spring musical, communion, and I’m pretty sure she was at my baptism, but that was 41 years ago and my memory is a little fuzzy.

One of the things that really sticks in my mind about my grandmother… she was a Disney fan. I guess I come by it naturally. One time when she was down with us, I think it was either 1978 or 1982, we coerced her to go on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. That was amusing… to us. She was slightly less amused.

I got to travel with my grandmother periodically. We took a bus trip through California after I graduated high school that was a lot of fun. We started in San Francisco, went to Monterey, Sacramento and Lake Tahoe, and then headed back through Solvang and ended up in Anaheim. The sad thing is that I was within a stone’s throw of Disneyland and never got there because my grandmother felt that it would be disappointing after having been to Walt Disney World several times. Wish I could’ve made my own decision, though… I’ll get there one day. We did wind up going to Universal Studios Hollywood and that was a lot of fun. I even got to participate in the Star Trek Experience… That was an interesting experience. I got to be the Klingon captain. Woot! One real highlight of that trip was when I took her to the Hard Rock Cafe in San Francisco. For anyone curious as to what my acting “debut” really looked like, I think you could say that I was about as wooden as Shatner… then again, you can be the judge.

Our other big trip together was to Las Vegas. We did Las Vegas style stuff, including Siegfried & Roy, taking the Dam tour, and gambling a little. We stayed at Treasure Island, which was one of the newest hotels in the city, and I managed to get an incredibly bad sunburn, but it was some fun.

One of the best things about my grandmother was how she would take a shine to people. When she was ill and in the home, if Supportive Partner Woman (Bestest ever!) was visiting and a new nurse came in, my grandmother would always introduce SPW as her granddaughter, not as her grandson’s wife or granddaughter-in-law. She was also too generous. If it would snow, I would go to her place and make sure her car was cleaned off and shovelled out, and she would always insist on paying me. I would always refuse, and then the next time I would put on my gloves, there would be money stuck in one of them. If you protested the next time you saw her, she’d give you this little grin and deny it was her. Every time a minor holiday came by, she’d always have a card for you (Happy Columbus Day?!?) with a couple of dollars stashed inside. Just the way she was.

In the end, she left with no regrets. She told me that she had done what she wanted with her life, and she was ready to go. We all should be so lucky to have that much peace and to leave with no regrets.

I’m going to head to the gym now… day 4 in a row. Back is feeling slightly better. The weekend will prove to be a challenge as Supportive Partner Woman (fitness machine!) heads to NYC to attend BlogHer ’12. I’ll miss her terribly, but I’m not going to go on an eating binge. That would be so counter-productive and, well, what would be the point? To just totally scarf down food until I sit there feeling physically sick and mentally guilty? This is a huge improvement for me, though, as in previous incarnations, I’d already be thinking about what I could binge on. Not gonna do it. Never again.

I woke up this morning with a nasty kink in my back. My normal reaction would be to kind of hang around and bitch about said kink until it went away.

I’m a changed (ing) man.

My response today was to try and stretch it out as much as possible and I’m headed to the gym to try and work it out. This is a big week for me… I’m going to try to make it for five straight days. I have an appointment with Ryan on Friday (8 AM… gack!), so today and tomorrow are the tough ones. I think I can do it.

Yesterday’s session had a little drama. I woke up and for once had a decent blood sugar reading. It was 139. I took my insulin, ate a bowl of cereal with skim milk, and headed right out to my appointment. The bariatric fitness center’s policy regarding diabetes is iron clad… you check your sugar when you start, you check it afterward. If it falls below 80, you’re done. Simple and clear cut. When I got there, my reading was 100. I hopped on the treadmill, did 10 minutes, then went to the elliptical and did another 10 minutes. I then moved onto the weightlifting portion. I got through the rows, chest presses and pulldowns, but on my second set of squats and shoulder presses, I couldn’t manage more than 6 reps. I can normally do 12. I noticed the shakiness and fatigue, so I took another sugar reading and stuck a 71. Not good. With the staff being so on top of things, well, Ryan sat me down and made sure I took a glucose tablet. In about 10 minutes, I was good to go.

These sugar lows are a scary thing. While 71 is nothing near my low, it’s scary enough especially when being physically active.

So today’s workout was pretty good. Got my cardio in and worked legs and some crunches. Trying to do something about my keg (note I didn’t mention a six-pack) and trying to build some core strength.

I still haven’t asked about the yoga. That’s maybe on my to-do list on Friday.

One good thing from today is that I’m wearing a t shirt I haven’t been able to wear since soon after my hospital stay. It’s a shirt from the Alzheimer’s walk that SPW and I participated in back in 2010. Its not as baggy as I prefer, but I don’t look like a sausage in it, either. Tangible results! Yay!

I’m working on something special. I don’t want to say any more right now just because the video might not work too well. Until next time!

Haven’t been particularly into it these past couple of days. No real reason except work is getting a little stressful. Not so much the work, but the incessant chatter of certain coworkers. I’m all in favor of having a good time while working, believe you me, but I really don’t need to hear your entire life’s story from DNA up until that afternoon. I ESPECIALLY don’t need to hear it every day and at volumes that could be easily heard over a Rush concert. It’s days like these that I really wish my headphones went to 11… I just want to go and do my job and go home. Is that too much to ask?

Ok, mini rant over.

Seriously, though, I’ve kind of been feeling blah the last couple of days. I’m not quite sure why… I think it’s going back to the dietitian appointment. I know logically that it’s no big deal, but emotionally, I feel like I’ve already failed. I’ve thought long and hard about why I get these feelings at the slightest bump in the road… And I’ve never come up with an adequate answer.

That’s not me at all.

I think one thing I really need to do is just learn to relax. I remember when I was a kid seeing a poster or sign and on this sign there was a picture of an old man and it was captioned, “Sometimes I sets and thinks, and sometimes I just sets.” (sic) I remember thinking that was kind of stupid… Why would you just sit? The older I get, the more sense that makes. I never learned to just sets. Probably explains why sleeping in is never an option for me. Once I wake up, my brain is going a million miles an hour. Even when we go on vacation, I am usually up and raring to go and obsessing over time and what we planned to do. (Note – I did some research and the quote is actually from baseball legend Satchel Paige)

In other news, also adding to the stress level, Supportive Partner Woman and I recently closed on a refinance of our home. Reduced the mortgage interest some 2.5%. Or at least we THOUGHT we closed. Turns out when the gnomish little notary guy came to the house yesterday to sign the paperwork, well, he forgot one. He called, frantic, and since I was at work last night and SPW was visiting her parental units, he agreed to come back over this morning at 10:00. It’s now 11:30 and no sign of him. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, but this does not make me happy. Sigh. If I don’t hear from him by noon, I’m going to call. Hopefully nothing untoward has happened.

So, how to learn to relax? I suppose I could learn to meditate, but my sister in law gave me another option. Yoga. She found a DVD that she thinks would be useful and she swears it helps to relieve stress. I’m concerned that if I try to do some of this stuff, I’ll spot weld in whatever downward facing dog pose I’m trying. But the DVD sits there, tempting me to try. I think I will need to consult with Ryan on Tuesday and see if he thinks it’s a good idea for me to try. I need to try something because I’m getting closer to falling back into the old habits. I do not want that to happen again.

Point of the matter is, it’s just a scale. A collection of sensors and electronics that could have been having a bad day itself. Maybe the humidity level threw something off. Maybe my shoes really do weigh 7 pounds more than my other shoes. Maybe I needed to use the bathroom. I don’t know. Whatever the cause, reason, I was NOT happy and I’ll be damned if I’m going to give up. I’ve gotten this far… I’ll get farther. My usual M.O. of trying for a bit then giving up isn’t going to cut the mustard. At the same token, I’m human and nowhere near perfect. I’m going to stumble. I’ll probably stumble a lot. Just need to keep moving forward.

One day, one meal at a time.

It was Thursday, that means another session at the gym with Ryan and Cory. However, Cory had to have knee surgery, so it’s just Ryan trying to wrangle everyone. This can be a little trying, I am sure, but he’s doing a fine job. This, however, necessitates a change in my routine. I’ll be going Tuesday and Friday of next week instead.

It should be interesting to see what effect that has on me. It’s always hard to change routine when it gets set. This is part of my problem. I get set in my ways and it’s hard to move on. It also seems like heavier a rut I get into, well, the harder it is to escape said rut. At least I’m recognizing the problem and am going to face it head on.

I also managed to prepare a nice lunch for Supportive Partner Woman (annoyed with New Balance!) and I. Originally I wanted to grill some salmon yesterday, but after getting a late start and having to visit Dr. Doogie, we just didn’t have time. So, I had a cedar plank soaking for around 26 hours that I threw on the grill and the salmon really picked up the cedar flavor. It turned out to be very smoky and a beautiful red color that no dyed farm-raised salmon can match.

So, SPW has actually noticed changes in me. Not only that I’m smaller, but better general muscle tone and better disposition. I’m not quite as cranky as I once was. These are my biggest motivations to keep with the program and deal with any changes. When Ryan asked me if I’d be willing to come in at 8:00 next Friday morning, I hesitated, thinking that I only get out of work at midnight, but as I then told him, “I need this more than sleep.” It’s true. Having these guys to help navigate me through the process of getting healthy and atoning for many many years of dietary sins has been invaluable.

So, being about halfway through the program, I can honestly say that the weak link for me has been the dietitians. I don’t feel that I’m getting that much from those sessions. They seem to think I should be eating more calories, and yet my regular provider recommended I keep my intake around 500 calories less than what the dietitian said. I realize the one specializes in diet, but the other deals with a lot more diabetes on a daily basis. Speaking with another patient this morning, we were in agreement on this. We;d love for someone to tell us what we should eat and what we should avoid. It’s all very confusing.

I can say this… I’m sticking with the exercise program, regardless of what my surgical future is. I feel better and healthier, my sugars are better and clothes fit better.

I will try to write more tomorrow… busy day for me, have to get a haircut in the morning and have some other things to take care of before work.

P.S. I mentioned that SPW is annoyed with New Balance. This is the second pair of 623 cross trainers that she’s bought and in both pairs, the insole has slipped back toward the heel, causing a gap between the insole and the base of the show. This causes SPW’s toes to rub, causing pain and blistering. I’ve not had that problem, and I’ve worn the 623. Granted, not as hard as she has because I had to switch to a motion control sole to keep the feet in better shape.

I realized this morning that while I was getting my work in, real world walking isn’t the same as an elliptical or arc trainer. Since one of my goals was to be somewhat remotely in shape for our next trip to Disney (two months from tomorrow), I decided that on my non-ass kicking days, I would concentrate on the treadmill.

Now, the distance around World Showcase Lagoon is 1.2 miles, so I should be able to walk that at a leisurely pace with no problems. That’s my starting point… I’m happy to report that I was able to do 1.4 miles on the treadmill this morning in 30 minutes, AND have my heart rate stay under 122. I had the machine set for random hills, too, to add some challenge. Yes, I’d love to get to a nice hilly 5K in an hour. I think I can do it, but not this week. Baby steps.

I don’t think that this will impact my regular training routine. It’s cardio, and cardio is good. However I get there, I want to avoid the Disney equivalent of the death march. It’s a vacation… it’s supposed to be fun, not torture.

The other big event of the day was our second dental visit of the week. Supportive Partner Woman (possessor of numbed tongue!) and I both had fillings that needed replacement. Mine was upper teeth and didn’t require nearly as much Novocaine as SPW. The sad thing is that SPW was still feeling the aftereffects of the Novocaine she got on Monday during our other dental visit. Also found out that Doogie Howser, DMD is actually 38, married with kids. I’m totally flabbergasted… but I’m betting he still gets carded at the liquor store.

At any rate, that’s all I have for today. Talk to you tomorrow after the Thursday ass-kicking.