Tuesday… it’s Monday by another name

Posted: October 23, 2012 in Comcast, election, politics, Xfinity
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Good morning (it’s morning now… might not be by the time I finish, so deal with it, ok?)! Hopefully this finds you well. It’s 54 degrees and raining today, which makes it feel like a Monday. The 54 degrees is fine… perhaps a little chilly, but it’s the rain that causes the problems. It’s kind of hard to go for a walk in it, especially if you have to worry about your feet getting too wet.

Monday, the real Monday, started off with a whimper. It’s a tight schedule day… gym appointment at 7, at work by 8:30. I got dressed, ate some breakfast (Cheerios and a banana, if you’re keeping score), and went out to the car. I should say a few words about my car. It’s a 1999 Oldsmobile with only 101,000 miles. It can be, shall we say, temperamental? It decided not to start… not because there was a problem, but because the security system was having a bad day. It’s not a good system… it basically senses a chip in the key and decides whether to start or not. If it doesn’t start, you have to wait around for an hour until it resets. Sigh. It doesn’t do this often, but it always seems to be while I’m in a hurry. So, I had to grab Supportive Partner Woman (sports editor extraordinaire!)’s ride, go to my session, come home and pray the car started. It did, but that was my morning shot to hell.

We’re doing a new proof of concept at work that’s had some hiccups… that pretty much blew the main part of the day. In the evening, I drove SPW to our hometown so she could participate in a class reunion meeting. I killed time at Barnes & Noble while she did reunion stuff, then we went home. Such an exciting life, you know?

So, since Monday was shot to hell, Tuesday has become the new Monday. At least for this week. I’m so looking forward to the evening when I have nothing planned.

In the Seriously, dude? files for today, had a phone call and a letter from Comcast. The purpose of said missives were to inform me that my cable modem would soon not be able to handle the full array of internet services the Xfinity offers. Of course, they would be happy to rent us a new modem. Of course. Seriously? Did they learn nothing from me? I tried to update my modem a few months ago and all I got was a piece of colossal excrement from Motorola.

It just seems that anymore, the inmates are running the asylum. Take my driver’s license renewal. I made a mistake and wrote the check for $29.00 instead of $29.50. Rather than call and say, “Hey, you messed up,” they mailed it back to me (costing them $0.42 in postage, making me write a second check for $0.50, which probably cost them around $8.00 to process. Net profit on that $0.50 was around -$7.92. Glad they got basic economics figured out. And these are the people running things?

People ask me what happened to me. I used to be totally fascinated by the political process. I was a poll worker, a judge of elections, worked phone banks, whatever was needed. I would attend political rallies. I was versed on the issues and thought that it mattered who was elected… that my candidate would be the better choice. Anymore, I see the elections as nothing but a choice between two unpalatable options. Politics has always been a dirty business, but lately it seems that the country has been completely polarized with no willingness to even listen to another point of view. Hollywood gets a few things right, and politics can be best summed up with the following quote from the 1990 release The Hunt for Red October:

 Listen; I’m a politician which means I’m a cheat and a liar, and when I’m not kissing babies I’m stealing their lollipops.

Only problem is, they aren’t just stealing lollipops. The politicians and all of “official” Washington are stealing our country. The two-party system is a failure and has marginalized those who don’t fit in either party’s mold. Economist Jeffrey Sachs writes in his book The Price of Civilization that:

The main reason for America’s majoritarian character is the electoral system for Congress. Members of Congress are elected in single-member districts according to the “first-past-the-post” (FPTP) principle, meaning that the candidate with the plurality of votes is the winner of the congressional seat. The losing party or parties win no representation at all. The first-past-the-post election tends to produce a small number of major parties, perhaps just two, a principle known in political science as Duverger’s Law. Smaller parties are trampled in first-past-the-post elections.

Tim Holden – I’d think that $174,000 a year would make him a little busier

Barring the emergence of a viable third-party, it seems to me that the best way to shake things up is to institute term limits. When guys like Arlen Specter spend 30 years in office, suckling at the collective teat of the people, there’s a problem. I grew up in the old 6th district of Pennsylvania which was “represented” by two, count them, TWO people. In 40 years. The current occupant of the office, Rep. Tim Holden, has these examples of groundbreaking legislation as his legacy. His predecessor, Gus Yatron, was even more ineffective. In 22 years, he sponsored 15 bills, none of which were made into law. There was one resolution condemning human rights violations in the former USSR, though. Earth shattering stuff.

So, in short, make sure you vote. Even if it involves holding your nose and voting for the candidate who stinks slightly less. If the elected officials aren’t getting it done, throw them out. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I still believe these people work for me, not vice-versa. Don’t think that you need to vote Republican or Democrat, either. There’s no law that says you need to vote for either Mittens or for the current occupant. Take the time to learn about an alternative, whether it be an independent or Libertarian or Communist, even. Vote for who you want… it’s your vote, not Candy Crowley’s or Wolf Blitzer’s or Anderson Freakin’ Cooper’s vote.

Anyone remember Gus Hall?

Busy weekend…

Posted: October 21, 2012 in Bariatric surgery, Doctors and Dentists and Nurses... oh my!, Supportive Partner Woman, Weight loss
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So, as I sit here typing away on a Sunday morning, I thought I might take a few minutes and reflect up on the weekend. Supportive Partner Woman (newly promoted!) travelled to State College for a Daily Collegian reunion in honor of the publication’s 125th anniversary. Sadly, whilst she was out making merry, I had to stay home and actually go to work yesterday.

Harumph!

I always like “harumph” as is brings to mind a scene from a favorite movie:

The good news, though, came from my doctor’s visit. See, Friday was the 6th and final program visit. It’s good and bad, because while I still don’t like going to the doctor’s office, I’ll miss my monthly visits and support sessions with Rachel Ho, my favorite East Coast health care professional and second-favorite overall. Anyway, I managed to drop the five pounds I gained AND two more pounds to boot. Guess the no snacking at the vending area AT ALL is a good thing.

The big news, though, concerns Supportive Partner Woman (finally being recognized for her mad editing skillz!). Seems that her current employers have recognized her general awesomeness and decided to name her sports editor. She’s the first woman to hold that post in the history of the paper and one of only 6% nationwide. She’s got a lot of big ideas, but if anyone can get them implemented, it would be SPW. Also, I might add that I don’t feel threatened as a dude because my wife knows more about sports than I do. It’s cool in that I have someone to go to a game with who can discuss the game knowledgeably and enjoy the on field action. After all, we had to make sure that there was a television in the bar at our wedding reception showing the Penn State – Ohio State game.

So, moving on, I have a big decision to make regarding my surgical options. The only decision I’ve made so far is to not have any operation until the new year. With the holidays and upcoming vacation, it would be too difficult to deal with the recovery and liquid diet phases. I’ll keep you all posted,

Hope that you all have a great day and I’ll be back soon!

Confessions of a newly converted Whovian

Posted: October 17, 2012 in Doctor Who, Supportive Partner Woman
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Hi everyone. My name is Brian and I am a Whovian.

Hi Brian!

Looks like someone who auditioned for the role of annoying robot in Buck Rogers

I didn’t intend to be a Whovian. My original impression of the cult British television series was one of disdain. The effects were cheesy, and for some reason everyone reminded me of David Bowie in the Ziggy Stardust years. It was basically stuff I saw while channel surfing my way over to something else. Something where you couldn’t see the wires holding up the pie plate that was doubling as an alien spacecraft.

Tell us more, Brian

Anyway, I met Supportive Partner Woman (not quite SPW at that time!) and over the years we’ve been together, she’s always been keen on the Doctor. That was one of the first shows to be added to the Netflix queue. I’ve normally left her to her devices to watch it, but she really got into about the time of the most recent reboot. She would tell me how well done it was and I’d let it go by, never quite able to dispel the image of the bad 70’s effects.

Go on…

Anyway, we get to 2012 and SPW (woman of eclectic taste!) was telling me the tale of the Doctor Who-themed bar in New York called The Way Station. For whatever reason, maybe it’s my love of Disney, I appreciate theming. I like when a place goes the extra mile to really immerse you in the environment… not just hang a bunch of crap on the wall and call it flair. So, I looked up the bar and was reading about it and thought, well, maybe it’s not that bad of a show. I’ll give it a try one of these days.

And?

I finally started to watch the new series about the time of the season premiere. I’m currently almost all the way through the fourth season. Watching it on Netflix has been great, as I can stream it on a computer or Apple TV or Roku or iPad. I’ve even been known to stream to the phone (screen is small, Retina display is nice). I have a few observations… Through two Doctors and three Companions, my favorites are David Tennant as the Doctor and a toss-up between Rose Tyler and Martha Jones as the Companion. I’m not a huge Donna Noble fan… she grates on me and I find Catherine Tate’s portrayal to be very shrill. That being said, it’s well-acted, just not my favorite.

So, Brian… anything else to add?

Cute little creatures made of fat

Well, after watching 55 episodes (or 56… not 100% sure), I can say that this is a far cry from the cheese I remember growing up. I look forward to watching the rest of the episodes and waiting for more. See, I’m thoroughly hooked now. I look forward to getting a dose every day… to seeing when the Daleks or Cybermen or Weeping Angels turn up next (as an aside, the Weeping Angels freak me out the most). The effects are amazing, the writing is mostly sharp, and the acting is first-rate. There’s lighthearted moments, such as the Adipose episode, and some of the interplay between the Doctor and his Companion is hysterical. As SPW (lover of film and television!) says, “It’s about time I hooked you on a show rather than vice-versa.”

That’s all I have… but I’m determined to cope with my condition. Thanks for listening.

Exterminate!

Song of the Day: Nights are Forever Without You – England Dan & John Ford Coley

Currently reading: Zoo – James Patterson

 

Serious cooking

Posted: October 15, 2012 in Cooking, Food porn, recipes, Supportive Partner Woman, Wegman's
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Supportive Partner Woman (Mistress of the Twittergraph!) and I did some cooking this weekend, trying to jump-start back to our healthier lifestyle. With everything going on, healthy eating wasn’t quite at the forefront, convenience was.

We made an excursion to Wegman’s on Saturday. This was our regular Wegman’s… in Mechanicsburg, PA. It’s in the ideal retail complex. You have Wegman’s, Best Buy, Target, Office Max and Chick-Fil-A all in one complex. It’s like Christmas. We found a really nice beef roast and decided we’d throw that in the slow cooker and I’d make some other stuff, since SPW (Slave to the Voter’s Guide!) had to work. Sunday morning, we cooperated on getting the roast ready, although SPW (Eater of tasty beef!) did the lion’s share of the prep. I just measured out broth and chopped carrots and potatoes. Once it was cooking away, I made lunch… tomato soup and grilled ham & cheese sandwiches. Used a boxed Trader Joe’s soup that was pretty tasty, but it was in the pantry.

Dinner!

After SPW (Queen of the slow cooker!) left for work, I got down to business. I started by opting to make from-scratch risotto for the first time. I used mushrooms, garlic, shallots, white wine and chicken stock, along with arborio rice and, well, I thought it turned out to be pretty good. Had the right level of stickiness, and it was the right texture. I had been dreading it, but the actual making process wasn’t that bad. I was amazed with the quantity of risotto 1.5 cups of arborio rice actually makes. It sucked up around 6.5 cups of liquid! I’m going to add the recipe to this post… I will be using it again, although probably not until I manage to eat the rest of this batch 🙂

Brings me to the next topic… leftovers. This is one place where Supportive Partner Woman and I disagree. She detests leftovers… I think they are the greatest thing ever. I like variety in my meals, but if I can have a nice, balanced meal without spending a ton of time to make it, well, I’m all for it.

In other changes, I start a long period of day shift this week. It will seem strange, but it also gives me more time to cook a fresh meal. Hopefully, Supportive Partner Woman will be able to come home for dinner on a regular basis once her job situation settles down. We shall see.

Here’s the risotto recipe. All measurements are not exact 🙂

Mushroom Risotto

Ingredients:
6 cups chicken broth – divided
3 tablespoons olive oil – divided
8 oz. white mushrooms thinly sliced
2 diced shallots (I had some in a jar, so I used those)
3 cloves garlic
1 1/2 cup arborio rice
1/2 cup dry white wine (I used Little Penguin pinot grigio)
4 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup Parmesan
3 tablespoons finely chopped chives (I omitted)
sea salt to taste
coarse ground black pepper to taste

Directions:
1) In a saucepan, warm the broth over low heat.

2) Warm 2 tablespoons olive oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Stir in the mushrooms, and cook until soft, about 3 minutes. Remove mushrooms and their liquid, and set aside.

3) Add 1 tablespoon olive oil to skillet, and stir in the shallots. Cook 1 minute. Add rice, stirring to coat with oil, about 2 minutes. When the rice has taken on a pale, golden color, pour in wine, stirring constantly until the wine is fully absorbed. Add 1/2 cup broth to the rice, and stir until the broth is absorbed. Continue adding broth 1/2 cup at a time, stirring continuously, until the liquid is absorbed and the rice is al dente, about 20-30 minutes.

4) Remove from heat, and stir in mushrooms with their liquid, butter, chives, and parmesan. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

There you have it. Just remember to be patient and keep stirring.

More tomorrow!

Song of the Day: The Forecast (Calls for Pain) – Robert Cray Band
Currently Reading: First Family – David Baldacci

Quote of the Day:

I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting. – Andy Rooney

What’s coming…

Posted: October 12, 2012 in Cooking, Exercise, Lego, Supportive Partner Woman, Walking, Weight loss
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So, I ended the last post saying that I would keep moving forward. Here’s what’s happening.

I got to day work next week. I’ve been working evenings since the beginning of May, and there’s some upside there. Namely getting to see more of Supportive Partner Woman (Sportschick extraordinaire!) and not having to worry about appointment scheduling. The downside is that you miss out on a lot of stuff in the evening and it also really messes with my natural circadian rhythm.

I’m also looking forward to the change in that it gives me more opportunity to cook fish. I love fish, but my co-workers aren’t exactly enthralled when you heat it up in the microwave. Even a plank roasted salmon that primarily smells like wood smoke brings out the great wailing and gnashing of teeth. The challenge, though, will be to not succumb to boredom eating. I’ll either need a second job or some kind of hobby to keep me busy. Sadly, the hobby can’t just be building Legos. That gets to be somewhat expensive.

B-Wing

Speaking of Lego, my most recent project was the B-Wing starfighter from the Star Wars Ultimate Collectors Series. I love the UCS sets… they are usually a more challenging build with lots of pieces and the attention to detail is astounding. They also come with a handy display stand and aren’t plagued with tons of stickers like other lower-end sets. This marks my third UCS set, and while not as challenging as the Imperial shuttle, it still took me a few days to get it together.

One of my main projects will be to adapt to meal planning. All too often, I’m throwing something together with what I have on hand, rather than having what I would really like to have. This will hopefully eliminate the discovery of four year old shrimp in the freezer.

I also have to adjust my workout schedule. My two sanctioned workouts this week are going to be at 7 AM, followed by full shifts. We will see how that winds up going. If it doesn’t fly too well, I can always go after work. I can also walk the neighborhood after work as the temperatures have cooled considerably. It was tough to do in mid afternoon when temperatures and humidity hovered around “boiling”.

All I can promise is that I’ll be making changes. Whether they work remains to be seen. Hopefully it will get the scale moving in the right direction.

Have a great weekend!

New morning…

Posted: October 12, 2012 in Bariatric surgery, Chick-Fil-A, diabetes, Doctors and Dentists and Nurses... oh my!, Stress, The Beetus
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After the abject negativity of yesterday’s post, I slept on it. Not for too long, but long enough to get the gist of what happened yesterday. Basically, it was me being petty and spiteful and ignoring the blatantly obvious.

I’m still eating too much.

It’s nowhere near what it used to be. In my heyday, I would think nothing of swinging by Chick-Fil-A, snagging three sandwiches and a box of nuggets and scarfing them all down in one sitting. I could eat an entire pound of ham, and a pound of cheese, and go looking for more. I usually would feel disgustingly full after I did that, swear to never do it again, and promptly do it again the next weekend.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I never got a good handle on why I did stupid, mindless shit like that. All I knew is that food made me happy. The texture of some thick, dense bread on the tongue would make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It’s an addiction, like alcohol or drugs or gambling or sex. Just so happens, my drug of choice is food and you need food to live. Talk about a kick in the teeth. To live, I need the very thing that will prematurely kill me if I can’t succeed.

However, next Friday marks the six-month point since I started the bariatric program. Theoretically, I’m ready for the operation, but I don’t know if I want to have the surgery done. I know there are benefits, but there are also some pretty big risks as a counterpoint. Also, if I do have the surgery, what procedure do I have? Do I go for the band, which is the least invasive? Do I go for the bypass, which is the most invasive, but also offers the best success at “curing” the Beetus? Do I opt to try to go solely with diet and exercise? Also, do I have the operation this year while the insurance still pays more or do I wait until after the holidays?

Even the name is right…

See, so many choices and me with so few answers. And I really am not good at making decisions.

I think I’m going to see how this week goes, see what my regular doc has to say, and go from there. I’ll just keep moving forward.

Is a complete and utter hate-on for an inanimate object healthy?

Posted: October 11, 2012 in Futility, Supportive Partner Woman, The Beetus, Weight loss
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Or is it a sign of me starting to crack up?

I say this because I had another appointment with the dietitian today only to find that I gained five pounds. I hate the scale like nothing else. I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns. I want to beat every scale I see with a large sledgehammer. I feel that the scale exists to completely destroy any sense of accomplishment I may have.

I know… there are all sorts of theories why one scale weighs differently. and maybe that’s part of the problem. I don’t think that a five pound swing is likely.

I think the problem is plain and simple.

Stress.

It hasn’t been a good food week. I know that. Supportive Partner Woman (Liker of Mexican food!) and I have been eating out at a rapid clip, which is not good. There’s been so much going on that it’s hard to know which end is up, and sometimes, the best option is to grab something on the run. So, we wind up eating lunch out. I’m still eating my breakfasts at home and I take dinner with me, but according to the dietitian, I’m eating out too much. Couple with the reduced activity thanks to Wayne, well, I’m not getting as much exercise as I should. It all adds up… it’s not just because we’ve been to Chipotle multiple times in the course of a week.

See, the only part that doesn’t show results are the weigh-ins. I’ve been able to steadily increase the weights and workouts and my clothes fit better. In fact, I’m wearing a pair of jeans I haven’t been able to wear since the winter before last and they are actually a little baggy.  I can’t believe that the bariatric center didn’t take measurements when I started. I’d really like to know how many inches I’ve lost.

The other stressor for the week is thanks to my wonderful employer. It’s annual enrollment time again and that’s never any fun. Not only because of the hoops they make you jump through, but because every year they find yet another way to nickel and dime you. This year’s big surprise is not only are my premiums going up 12%, they are cutting the amount they pay by 5%. That’s really a 17% increase. And because it’s not complete without one more thing, they are also doubling the deductible. Basically, it seems that if you have a chronic condition, like the Beetus, you should just save everyone the trouble and off yourself before your next doctor’s visit. Couple that with the federal legislation that limits FSAs to $2,500 a year, well, it’s a complete shit sandwich.

As my late father would always say, “I don’t mind getting screwed, but at least kiss me first.”

I hope the next post will be free of the negativity… it’s just so frustrating to put in the time and the sweat and see that you gained five pounds. Makes me want to go and eat. A lot.

I’m not going to, though.

More foods, please!

Posted: October 9, 2012 in diabetes, Disney, Food porn, Foot issues, Southwest, Supportive Partner Woman, Travel
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Continuing with the Disney eating marathon, I had some food porn I was hoping to share and talk about some other high points of our trip.

Our flight to Orlando was scheduled for a 6:15 departure from Baltimore, or, as we call it, the asscrack of dawn. We left the house around 3:15 AM and headed south. Many of you might remember the issues that I had with Southwest Airlines trying to book the flight in the first place. This was that trip. We all queued up in the cattle chute and prepared to board. Supportive Partner Woman and I had coveted “A” boarding slots and we managed to snag two seats about three rows back. SPW (bestest wife ever!) took the middle seat and I had the aisle. It was cramped, but in the good news department, I did not require a seat belt extender. Yay me.

The flight took off on time and I had loaded Killer Elite on the iPad for in-flight entertainment. I spent about an hour watching that and noticed a lot of activity, namely a flight attendant racing down the aisle with the AED, followed by a general call for trained medical personnel. Soon after, the captain came on board to say we were diverting to Charleston for a medical emergency. He must’ve had the 737 firewalled to get us in to Charleston as quickly as he did. The passenger was conscious when he was removed from the plane, and after refueling, we continued to Orlando, arriving around 45 minutes late. Whatever issues I might have had with Southwest, the flight crew really exhibited professionalism and handled the medical crisis like it happened every day.

We split up at that point… SPW went to claim the luggage, I went to pick up the car. I had booked a midsize and in Alamo’s midsize row were 14 minivans. And a Dodge Avenger. Sigh. I got in and headed back to the terminal to pick up SPW only to find that she had claimed the bags and thought she could catch up with me. Turns out she went below baggage claim and I had no way to get to her as that’s only open for buses. I sent her back to the baggage claim and I circled the airport again. Turns out the escalator she went up on took her to the ticketing level, which necessitated another trip around the terminal. Quite the comedy of errors.

Earl of Sandwich tomato soup with Earl’s Club and the Original 1762.

Anyway, we headed off to Disney’s BoardWalk Villas for the night. For those who are not familiar with the BoardWalk, it’s a really nice hotel, quite centrally located and within walking distance of Epcot. That alone makes it a favorite. This time, though, we were determined to spend a day outside of a park, so we got ourselves checked in and over to our room where was chilled for a while, then headed to Downtown Disney to grab some lunch. The weather was quite muggy, which made things a little sweaty, but we made our way to the Earl of Sandwich for lunch. This is one of our favorite spots… the food is tasty and reasonably priced and they offer AAA discounts which are actually better than the Disney Cast Member discount. Our normal MO is to buy two different sandwiches and split them… this time, we opted for the original, which consists of finely shaved hot roast beef with cheddar and horseradish and the Earl’s Club, which consists of roast turkey, applewood smoked bacon and swiss cheese, with lettuce and Roma tomato. We each added a drink and a cup of tomato soup and the total bill wound up being under $20. Best value on property. We shopped a bit, then took a pontoon boat out on the lake.

If you are opting to rent a boat, the best bet is to rent it from one of the Magic Kingdom resorts. That way you have over 400 acres of water to explore. It was a beautiful day to be out with a nice breeze and very little lake traffic.

Following that, we went back to the room to change before meeting some friends for dinner at Raglan Road. We haven’t seen these folks in many months, but it was great to catch up and enjoy a lovely meal. I opted for Raglan risotto with grilled chicken. The portion size was very nice and the food was flavorful, but not outstanding.

That concludes the food post today. More tomorrow when we talk about LeCellier!

 

I’m back… I’m nationwide?

Posted: October 9, 2012 in diabetes, Disney, Exercise, Food porn, Foot issues, Physical activity, Stubby the Wonder Toe, Supportive Partner Woman, Travel
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Greetings!

I know, its been quite awhile. I started writing this from the laundry room of Disney’s Port Orleans Riverside Resort. I know… I go to such interesting places on vacation. What can I say? It’s a gift.

So, it’s been about a month since I scribbled anything down. Just been crazy busy at Chez T and, well, just nothing really interesting to report. Done some stumbling recently, food-wise, not a serious backslide, but enough that my last doctor visit resulted in just a one-pound loss. In a month. Granted, I wasn’t working out like crazy… trying to keep the tempo down to prepare for our trip. Fat lot of good that did me.

See, after one day of serious walking, with preventative measures in places (Stubby cocooned in moleskin, his counterpart wearing a gel pad), I get a freakin’ blister NEXT TO THE GEL PAD!!!! This, as you can imagine, did not make me happy. Especially not with five days to go.

Supportive Partner Woman (de facto nurse of unparalleled skill!) then decreed an easier pace and began a regimen of rubbing my feet with ammonium lactate cream, which, according to the surgeon, is good stuff. This, coupled with Betadyne and gauze and a lot of moleskin, really enabled me to stay upright. It’s the one blessing of neuropathy… I can’t feel the pain of a blister. Looking back, I thing the problem was due to the crazy high humidity. It made the air chewy and we usually wound up with two showers a day.

So, for us a vacation to Disney World is more about the friends and the food than anything else. We paid two visits to Ohana for meeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaat on a stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick! There’s an art to eating somewhat healthier at Ohana… that is to view it as a high protein meal. Just keep in mind that when the nice server brings a sizzling skewer of dripping meat, he or she will automatically adjust your request by a factor of three. So, if you would, in fact, like one more piece of steak, make sure you have friends to share it with, because you’re getting three giant pieces.

The food at Ohana is not bad… you start with the Ohana welcome bread, which is a sweet Hawaiian style bread that has a touch of pineapple flavor. Then you get a salad, which would be better with less dressing. It’s positively drowning. I’m pretty sure I saw a lettuce shred clinging desperately to a life ring as its mates all drowned in the Vinaigrette Sea.

The staff follows this with the chicken wings and dumplings. I’m not a huge fan of wings to start with and these are just meh, so I usually pass on them. The dumplings are awesome, though, and it takes a great deal of self-restraint to not totally strap on the feed bag. This is followed with the greens, which consist of snow peas and broccoli that are well prepared. The share a plate with some tasty lo mien.

After the BS is dispensed with, it’s on to the main event. The meat. See, Disney wants you to believe that Ohana means family, but in reality, Ohana means meat. Lots of meat. Lots and lots of meat. We’re talking meat with a capital MEAT. The room is dominated but an open wood fire cooking giant skewers of steak, chicken, pork and shrimp. I love the shrimp. It has a nice level of spiciness without being too much to numb the palate. The steak has a wonderful marinade… not sure what all is in it, other than garlic, Worcestershire sauce and soy sauce. Makes it very bold.

The chicken is pedestrian… not a ton of flavor, probably kept mild for people who don’t care for spice. The pork, though, is not that great. It’s usually a little overcooked and the BBQ sauce is way too sweet for my palate. I think the open fire is simply too hot and dries out the meat. Pork, IMHO, should be done low and slow with just enough sear on the outside to keep the juices in. Here’s a view of the cooking fire in action:

After the gorging is over, they hit you with dessert. They bring a banana bread pudding topped with vanilla ice cream. If that’s not enough, they will dump an Exxon Valdez sized load of caramel sauce on top. I’m lucky, though… since I have dietary restrictions, they usually bring me a nice plate of fresh fruit.

I will provide more food details over the next few days, but suffice it to say that even with all the food, I still managed to lose 2.5 pounds while away. So, not a total loss.

Talk to you again tomorrow.

Song of the Day: Gangnam Style – PSY
Currently Reading: The Tombs – Clive Cussler

Don’t be that guy…

Posted: September 12, 2012 in Exercise, Gratuitously Naked Guy, Physical activity, Weight loss
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I went to the gym this morning (and no, I didn’t skip an exercise appointment to work out) and was totally killing it on the elliptical. See, Ryan had told me to not lift on consecutive days and since I’ll be lifting tomorrow, well I made today a cardio day.

Gym was pretty sparsely populated today, so no problems getting my favorite elliptical. It’s the one at the end of the row. I choose that one so the maximum amount people working out next to me is one. Not that I’m antisocial, I just find having people on either side of me messes up my pace. It’s all those years as a band geek.

Anyway, after killing it on the elliptical, I did some time on the bike. It’s hard to get used to, though. I can never seem to get the height of the seat exactly right. That and the muscle groups are subtly different. I don’t have nearly as much endurance on the bike. I’ll get there. Anyway, I went back to the locker room to use the facilities, wash up, and wait for Supportive Partner Woman to be done. That’s when I encountered Gratuitously Naked Guy. Gratuitously Naked Guy (in search of a colony!) is this old guy who likes to parade around the locker room buckass nekked, y’all. It’s the moon, sun and stars in all their wrinkly glory. He likes to hold conversations. Naked conversations. With other guys. With his foot up on the bench. No towel within 50 feet. Just a guy (who looks like The Joker) wandering about the locker room waving his junk all over Hell and creation. I’ve never spoken to him before.

That all changed today.

As I was washing my hands, Gratuitously Naked Guy sauntered over and started the following conversation:

GNG: Say, nice weather out there.
Me: Uh, yes. Yes it is (concentrating on studiously drying my hands)
GNG: (no lie) Come here often?
Me: a few times a week
GNG (who is not exactly what you would call svelte): Good to see overweight people such as yourself here working hard.
Me: Er, thanks?

That’s the truth.

Gratuitously Naked Guy then wandered off on search of another victim. You might be wondering why I actually spoke to the guy. Other than it would be rude to ignore him? Well, I always figure that you should be nice to the crazy naked people. Here’s the funny thing, though… as many times as I’ve seen him touring the locker room, I’VE NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN HIM WORK OUT. In all fairness, I probably wouldn’t recognize him fully clothed. And for the record, he looks a lot like a bloodhound.

So, to anyone out there considering taking up the hobby of trolling the locker room at the gym sans apparel, here’s some advice…

Don’t be that guy.

Song of the Day: Escape – Journey
Currently Reading: Steve Jobs – Walter Isaacson

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