When the real world intrudes

Posted: July 28, 2012 in Exercise, Stress, Supportive Partner Woman, Weight loss
3

Haven’t been particularly into it these past couple of days. No real reason except work is getting a little stressful. Not so much the work, but the incessant chatter of certain coworkers. I’m all in favor of having a good time while working, believe you me, but I really don’t need to hear your entire life’s story from DNA up until that afternoon. I ESPECIALLY don’t need to hear it every day and at volumes that could be easily heard over a Rush concert. It’s days like these that I really wish my headphones went to 11… I just want to go and do my job and go home. Is that too much to ask?

Ok, mini rant over.

Seriously, though, I’ve kind of been feeling blah the last couple of days. I’m not quite sure why… I think it’s going back to the dietitian appointment. I know logically that it’s no big deal, but emotionally, I feel like I’ve already failed. I’ve thought long and hard about why I get these feelings at the slightest bump in the road… And I’ve never come up with an adequate answer.

That’s not me at all.

I think one thing I really need to do is just learn to relax. I remember when I was a kid seeing a poster or sign and on this sign there was a picture of an old man and it was captioned, “Sometimes I sets and thinks, and sometimes I just sets.” (sic) I remember thinking that was kind of stupid… Why would you just sit? The older I get, the more sense that makes. I never learned to just sets. Probably explains why sleeping in is never an option for me. Once I wake up, my brain is going a million miles an hour. Even when we go on vacation, I am usually up and raring to go and obsessing over time and what we planned to do. (Note – I did some research and the quote is actually from baseball legend Satchel Paige)

In other news, also adding to the stress level, Supportive Partner Woman and I recently closed on a refinance of our home. Reduced the mortgage interest some 2.5%. Or at least we THOUGHT we closed. Turns out when the gnomish little notary guy came to the house yesterday to sign the paperwork, well, he forgot one. He called, frantic, and since I was at work last night and SPW was visiting her parental units, he agreed to come back over this morning at 10:00. It’s now 11:30 and no sign of him. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, but this does not make me happy. Sigh. If I don’t hear from him by noon, I’m going to call. Hopefully nothing untoward has happened.

So, how to learn to relax? I suppose I could learn to meditate, but my sister in law gave me another option. Yoga. She found a DVD that she thinks would be useful and she swears it helps to relieve stress. I’m concerned that if I try to do some of this stuff, I’ll spot weld in whatever downward facing dog pose I’m trying. But the DVD sits there, tempting me to try. I think I will need to consult with Ryan on Tuesday and see if he thinks it’s a good idea for me to try. I need to try something because I’m getting closer to falling back into the old habits. I do not want that to happen again.

Point of the matter is, it’s just a scale. A collection of sensors and electronics that could have been having a bad day itself. Maybe the humidity level threw something off. Maybe my shoes really do weigh 7 pounds more than my other shoes. Maybe I needed to use the bathroom. I don’t know. Whatever the cause, reason, I was NOT happy and I’ll be damned if I’m going to give up. I’ve gotten this far… I’ll get farther. My usual M.O. of trying for a bit then giving up isn’t going to cut the mustard. At the same token, I’m human and nowhere near perfect. I’m going to stumble. I’ll probably stumble a lot. Just need to keep moving forward.

One day, one meal at a time.

Butt kicking and more!

Posted: July 26, 2012 in Cooking, diabetes, Exercise, regrets, Wanda, Weight loss
2

It was Thursday, that means another session at the gym with Ryan and Cory. However, Cory had to have knee surgery, so it’s just Ryan trying to wrangle everyone. This can be a little trying, I am sure, but he’s doing a fine job. This, however, necessitates a change in my routine. I’ll be going Tuesday and Friday of next week instead.

It should be interesting to see what effect that has on me. It’s always hard to change routine when it gets set. This is part of my problem. I get set in my ways and it’s hard to move on. It also seems like heavier a rut I get into, well, the harder it is to escape said rut. At least I’m recognizing the problem and am going to face it head on.

I also managed to prepare a nice lunch for Supportive Partner Woman (annoyed with New Balance!) and I. Originally I wanted to grill some salmon yesterday, but after getting a late start and having to visit Dr. Doogie, we just didn’t have time. So, I had a cedar plank soaking for around 26 hours that I threw on the grill and the salmon really picked up the cedar flavor. It turned out to be very smoky and a beautiful red color that no dyed farm-raised salmon can match.

So, SPW has actually noticed changes in me. Not only that I’m smaller, but better general muscle tone and better disposition. I’m not quite as cranky as I once was. These are my biggest motivations to keep with the program and deal with any changes. When Ryan asked me if I’d be willing to come in at 8:00 next Friday morning, I hesitated, thinking that I only get out of work at midnight, but as I then told him, “I need this more than sleep.” It’s true. Having these guys to help navigate me through the process of getting healthy and atoning for many many years of dietary sins has been invaluable.

So, being about halfway through the program, I can honestly say that the weak link for me has been the dietitians. I don’t feel that I’m getting that much from those sessions. They seem to think I should be eating more calories, and yet my regular provider recommended I keep my intake around 500 calories less than what the dietitian said. I realize the one specializes in diet, but the other deals with a lot more diabetes on a daily basis. Speaking with another patient this morning, we were in agreement on this. We;d love for someone to tell us what we should eat and what we should avoid. It’s all very confusing.

I can say this… I’m sticking with the exercise program, regardless of what my surgical future is. I feel better and healthier, my sugars are better and clothes fit better.

I will try to write more tomorrow… busy day for me, have to get a haircut in the morning and have some other things to take care of before work.

P.S. I mentioned that SPW is annoyed with New Balance. This is the second pair of 623 cross trainers that she’s bought and in both pairs, the insole has slipped back toward the heel, causing a gap between the insole and the base of the show. This causes SPW’s toes to rub, causing pain and blistering. I’ve not had that problem, and I’ve worn the 623. Granted, not as hard as she has because I had to switch to a motion control sole to keep the feet in better shape.

Shifting focus…

Posted: July 25, 2012 in Disney, Exercise, Physical activity, Walking, Weight loss
1

I realized this morning that while I was getting my work in, real world walking isn’t the same as an elliptical or arc trainer. Since one of my goals was to be somewhat remotely in shape for our next trip to Disney (two months from tomorrow), I decided that on my non-ass kicking days, I would concentrate on the treadmill.

Now, the distance around World Showcase Lagoon is 1.2 miles, so I should be able to walk that at a leisurely pace with no problems. That’s my starting point… I’m happy to report that I was able to do 1.4 miles on the treadmill this morning in 30 minutes, AND have my heart rate stay under 122. I had the machine set for random hills, too, to add some challenge. Yes, I’d love to get to a nice hilly 5K in an hour. I think I can do it, but not this week. Baby steps.

I don’t think that this will impact my regular training routine. It’s cardio, and cardio is good. However I get there, I want to avoid the Disney equivalent of the death march. It’s a vacation… it’s supposed to be fun, not torture.

The other big event of the day was our second dental visit of the week. Supportive Partner Woman (possessor of numbed tongue!) and I both had fillings that needed replacement. Mine was upper teeth and didn’t require nearly as much Novocaine as SPW. The sad thing is that SPW was still feeling the aftereffects of the Novocaine she got on Monday during our other dental visit. Also found out that Doogie Howser, DMD is actually 38, married with kids. I’m totally flabbergasted… but I’m betting he still gets carded at the liquor store.

At any rate, that’s all I have for today. Talk to you tomorrow after the Thursday ass-kicking.

The countdown continues

Posted: July 24, 2012 in Administration
0

5,000 views.

Actually, it’s around 4,975. With luck it’ll make 5,000 by midnight. When I started this little endeavor in May, 2010, I had no idea it would catch on at all. I wasn’t doing much to publicize the blog, just putting it out there for people to read. Things really picked up upon the blog’s rebirth. Was it due to better writing? Probably not. Better design? Maybe. For whatever reason, it just picked up.

I call it a rebirth… it’s more like a refocus. I was just dancing around… dabbling at it. This was my first attempt at an online presence and I think it showed.

So, I just wanted to thank you all for helping MOASTBFFG reach 5,000 views. I hope that it’s been worth the read. I’ve certainly enjoyed writing it.

Scale blues

Posted: July 24, 2012 in Doctors and Dentists and Nurses... oh my!, Stress, Weight loss
2

Had a visit with the dietitian today. According to the scale there I’m seven (count them seven) pounds heavier than I was last week at the regular doctors office.

I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it’s so nice to have a number. A nice round number allows me to put it in perspective. To say, I lost “X” pounds rather than to say, well, I’m fitting in my clothes better and my legs aren’t as swollen.

I guess I just expected more. I’ve been working hard and I’m just not seeing the results I had hoped for. I won’t lie to you… it’s incredibly frustrating. You start feeling like Sisyphus, endlessly rolling that stone uphill.

This is where it is so easy to get discouraged. I’ve been sidetracked by this before. You start second guessing what you’re doing. You even start questioning WHY you’re doing it, if you’re not going to lose weight anyway. You wonder what the point of all the sweat and pain is.

Did I want to cry when I read the scale? Yes… did I get pissy? Oh, yeah… Then I remembered what several of you told me. It’s not just about the scale. I have to take heart in the fact I’m wearing a shirt I haven’t worn in awhile, or that two of my favorite polos that I haven’t worn in over a year are just about there (they fit, but are a little short to cover the Buddha). I can take heart in that I’ve pretty much revamped my entire diet and am eating mostly healthy food. I can see that my blood sugar is falling into place nicely an I should have no problem getting my <8 on my next A1C test.

This isn’t just a battle of the bulge for me. This is a war, where the stakes are my life. I win, I can live like a normal person. If I lose, I’m well and truly frakked. So, the hell with the scale. I hate the things anyway.

My other side project

Posted: July 23, 2012 in Disney, Walking, Weight loss
0

Howdy! Here’s a link to an article I did for Enjoying the Magic on the need to get in shape to properly enjoy Disney.

Check out the site, it’s got some good stuff on there. And I’m married to the editor in chief 🙂

Upcoming challenges

Posted: July 23, 2012 in Doctors and Dentists and Nurses... oh my!, Exercise, Foot issues, Penn State, Weight loss
0

Happy Monday. OK, maybe not quite happy.

As I write this, I’m waiting to see what penalties the NCAA will hand down to Penn State. As an alum, it’s been a rough couple of months and while I’m not quite ready to add my $0.02 to the piling on, I will at some point. My only comment for the moment is that I find it incredibly ironic that an organization as morally bereft as the NCAA sees fit to pass a moral judgement on anyone or anything. That’s like having Ted Bundy sitting on the Supreme Court and weighing in on the eighth amendment.

So, moving on to the meat of the day’s post, it should prove to be an interesting day.

Why?

I woke up with an incredibly stiff back and while my ankles have stopped hurting, my hips are aching like crazy and I have my Monday morning ass-kicking to contend with. Post ass-kicking, it’s time to visit Dr. Doogie the dentist to get work done on both sides of my upper teeth. I should be slurring and drooling like crazy.

It would be so easy to call in and say I’m going to cancel the days appointment. So incredibly easy. But I can’t. I’ve come this far and I can’t do that because I’ve spent a lot of years quitting when it got too hard. I tend to take the easy way out a lot… I’m always looking for ways to make life a little easier and I can get very pissy when it’s not. I guess I’m a lazy bones at heart. But lately that’s changed. Even yesterday, as much as it hurt to get moving, I did. Maybe I didn’t go for a walk or anything like that, but I did SOMETHING. I made a big batch of chili for the week and made dinner for Supportive Partner Woman (eater of zucchini). My outlook now is not as lazy but more determination to succeed and get to my goals. I’ve actually felt more like I’m giving my body parts the Knute Rockne speech.

 we’re gonna get ‘em on the run, we’re gonna go, go, go, go! — and we  aren’t going to stop until we go over that goal line! And don’t forget,  men — today is the day we’re gonna win.

For whatever reason that speech has stuck with me ever since the first time I watched Rudy;

There is a goal line ahead of me… it’s going to be a long drive, but I have the clock on my side and one helluva team. Thy are the ones who make it possible. It is kind of like a football team when you think about it. The medical staff is the coach, they show me how to do it, my family and friends are my teammates and you, the readers, are the cheerleaders and fans, offering all that support that makes it possible to succeed.

It’s first and 10, folks… and the first play is to get to the gym.

We’ll huddle up afterward.

A magical day out…

Posted: July 22, 2012 in friends, Magic Meets, Philadelphia Zoo, Stubby the Wonder Toe, Walking
1

So, yesterday, Supportive Partner Woman and I joined a group of friends and spent the day at the Philadelphia Zoo followed by dinner at Jack’s Firehouse in the Fairmount area of the city.

I should explain a little about the group. See, back in  2006, SPW (carrier of plentiful camera equipment!) and I attended something called Magic Meets. This was a group of like-minded Disney fans who got together at the Allentown Crowne Plaza to meet each other and discuss Disney. The meet, organized by Fred Block and his staff afforded us the opportunity to meet such notables in the Disney scene as Deb Wills from allears.net, Beci Mahnken from Mouse Fan Travel and the WDW Today podcast, among others.

We left with such an awesome feeling of having found a home that we were determined to volunteer the following year. We’ve continued to identify ourselves as members of the Magic Meets community, although the meet itself is on hiatus. Periodically, though, Fred organizes little get togethers, like yesterday’s festivities.

The Philadelphia Zoo bills itself as America’s oldest zoo. It’s in a portion of the city’s Fairmount Park and is home to some 1,300 animals. Some of these are rare and endangered, including lowland gorillas, various types of big cats like Amur tigers, lions and snow leopards, among other endangered species. The zoo does not cover a large land area, some 42 acres, but offers a lot to see in that small area. I was pleased because I got to see one of my favorite animals… prairie dogs. I’m not sure why I like these little rodents, but I can watch them for a long time. They just crack me up.

We spent the majority of the day touring and while I’m pleased to announce that Stubby the Wonder Toe was not damaged or blistered, my dogs were barking. It wasn’t the walking that was bothering me, it was the actually being on my feet the entire day. This caused a lot of pain in my ankles… probably from the amount of weight I’m carrying around. The only solution I know of is to continue taking off the pounds and see what happens. In the meantime, it’s going to make tomorrow’s gym session a little on the painful side.

After the zoo time ended (with penguins!), we headed over to Jack’s Firehouse, which is located near the Art Museum and directly across the street from Eastern State Penitentiary. This foreboding edifice really sets a mood, especially after dark. The firehouse itself is exactly that.It was the home of one of Philadelphia’s first paid fire companies and many of the features are still in place, ranging from the main doors to the brass pole.

SPW (eater of tasty steak!) and I have been to Jack’s on a few previous occasions and this was not the best dining experience we’ve had there. Our group, numbering some 30+ adults and children, occupied the private room upstairs and I think the fact that everyone ordered off the menu at the same time might have taxed the kitchen staff more than they are used to. SPW and I split a pulled pork appetizer that was quite tasty, but found a rather inedible hunk of bone or gristle in it. For an entrée, I chose a chicken breast with a bacon mac & cheese that again was tasty, but not quite up to snuff. SPW chose the filet mignon in which she found a giant hunk of gristle, usually unacceptable in a quality piece of meat.

The company and sheer fun of the day was able to overcome any perceived culinary shortcomings. Whenever we have a chance to hang with our good friends and make some new ones, well, that’s a good day.

I’ll let you know how the gym goes tomorrow… today is going to be a resting day.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Posted: July 20, 2012 in diabetes, Exercise, regrets, Weight loss
2

It’s Friday here in Cow Country and it’s been a decent morning. I managed to get to the gym for some cardio, run a couple of errands and get gas. Supportive Partner Woman (finder of dusty, rarely (if ever) worn sneakers!) had a hair appointment and got moving early, which left me to my own devices, such as they are.

The NB 856… very supportive

I mentioned yesterday about my shoe situation. I stopped at the grocery store on the way home from work and picked up some new shoelaces, got the cross trainers laced up and decided to try them on this morning after the gym. Imagine my surprise when I realized they actually mostly fit. They are still a little tight around the toes, so I won’t be wearing them for any long walks or gym sessions just yet. Maybe after I wear them to work for a while and get them broken in.

It’s nice that the actually fit… it’s another example of a result that I’m not seeing on a scale, sort of like when you can take another notch in your belt, so buckle the car seatbelt.

That’s a story in and of itself. We have two cars… SPW’s ’08 Honda Civic and my ’99 Oldsmobile. We don’t use the Olds too much… it’s the beater car that I take to work or that we drive in the foul weather. The Olds, for whatever reason, has short seatbelts and when I was at my biggest a few months ago, well, I couldn’t get it to buckle without totally wedging it under my fat. Sometimes, I would just wedge the belt in there and that was it. I figured that I wouldn’t get pulled over f0r driving without a seatbelt. Yeah, stupid of me, I know. The belt fits now, without even having to wedge it underneath the rolls.

I’m not too proud of some of the things I’ve done as a result of my weight, or that have helped contribute to my weight. Risking my life because I didn’t want to track down a belt extender is just one of a litany of dumb moves I’ve made. I’ve eaten an entire pound of cheese in a sitting more than once. A few months ago, I bought not one, but two packages of sugar-free cookies and went all Cookie Monster on them. Not a good thing.

The changes I’ve made seem to be taking root. I’m much more able to resist the temptations than I was a few short weeks ago. The talk of cookies inspires me to share an instant classic with you:

Talk to you all tomorrow.

Thursday lament

Posted: July 19, 2012 in diabetes, Exercise, Foot issues, Stubby the Wonder Toe, The Beetus, Weight loss
3

It was Thursday… that means a session with Ryan and Cory. I’m really starting to get used to the schedule. I go in, do 20 minutes of cardio, lift for a while, then finish with 10 more minutes of cardio.

Today was no different… except I tried some different programs on the treadmill, the arc trainer and the elliptical. Random hills or intervals. Just trying to break up the monotony. I noticed something, though… the more I do this, the easier it is to do 60 minutes. Today I was shocked when my time was done. It only felt like half an hour had elapsed.

I need to do something about my shoes, though. See, one of the issues with diabetes is that it does a number on the nerves in your feet. This is not just referring to neuropathy, but also pronation. This has caused my feet to flatten out and spread. Couple with poor circulation which makes the feet swell and finding a new pair of sneakers is a tough job.

Typical diabetic sneaker. Nice Velcro.

I’m a big fan of New Balance footwear… have been for ten years. They make a shoe that is wide enough to fit my foot comfortable and give some great support. After I had the issues with Stubby the Wonder Toe, the docs recommended getting diabetic friendly athletic shoes. I had looked at some of them and they were butt-ugly, no color or anything. Typical. It seems that if you aren’t the perfect size, you are out of luck when it comes to decent apparel. Same thing obviously goes for diabetes. I dug in my heels and did my research. I found that New Balance had a line of diabetic friendly footwear.

The running shoes I wound up with. Much more stylish.

Supportive Partner Woman (super supportive!) and I went to the nearest New Balance store and found that there were some much nicer options available. Options that didn’t entail Velcro closures. I found a pair that I liked and promptly found them on Amazon for 1/2 the price. After some teething problems (read: blister) I grew very accustomed to these shoes and have worn the hell out of them going on 18 months. I bought a new pair of cross trainers that didn’t fit well and that was because my circulation had been so poor that my feet were swelling so much I could barely fit in the new ones.

Lately, thanks to the gym time, my feet aren’t swelling nearly as bad, and now I need to consider placing the cross trainers back in circulation. Only problem is I have cannibalized them, taking the insoles and the laces and using them in the running shoes. I plan on picking up some new laces and changing the insoles yet again as I’ve noticed the soles of the running shoes are nearly worn through.

Did I do the right thing in refusing to get diabetic sneakers? I don’t know. I just couldn’t see myself in these ugly shoes. By making diabetic shoes that unappealing, it’s like a stigma. We don’t all have one foot in the grave. I chose to go with something with more pizzazz. I liked them. One other choice I made was to go with a sturdy pair of Merrell hiking shoes as my other go-to shoes. They keep my feet warm and dry in the winter and have plenty of support. Not the best choice for general summer wear, but what can you do?

One more note. WTF is up with Sports Authority not carrying wide-width shoes? I was told by the “helpful” sales associate that not many people have wide feet. Seriously? They do have them available on the website, but what good does that do? I won’t buy a pair of shoes without trying that brand/model to see how it fits my feet.

On that note, I’ll let you go. Got a busy weekend ahead visiting the Philadelphia Zoo with the Magic Meets crew and having a group dinner at Jack’s Firehouse.

Older Entries
Newer Entries